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TAY 203 : Going on first dates

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Garbriel: Date from school, talking about guy to not talking to, jealousy plotline, handle tests,
Upgraid: qualifying hired guns, qualify/push, disqualify,
Frank: dealing with open relationships

 

JASON: All right, what’s up guys? So, Upgrade—I mean, Gabriel, yeah, how was your week?

GABRIEL: Yeah! It was good, so I went out with this girl a couple of times and she was from school so I was already able to run my material on her.

JASON: Mm-hm.

GABRIEL: Not that well, I try as much as I could, especially when it came to kino escalation.

JASON: Mm-hm.

GABRIEL:  But it was a little bit awkward because she was from my class. I wasn’t sure how to run in. We were already acquaintances at least. Anyway, so my question is, what happens or what does it mean when you’re on a date with a girl and she’s having … she’s laughing her ass off. She’s super happy but at the same time she says, in a funny, joking way, oh my god, I don’t like you! Or I hate you, stuff like that.

JASON: Mm-hm.

GABRIEL:  But she says it over and over again. It’s not like once or twice—

JASON: Yeah!

GABRIEL:  And it’s over both dates.

JASON: Well, I mean obviously it’s a playful thing, right?

GABRIEL:  Yeah.

JASON: Okay. So for her to say that, are you hitting any kind triggers or any kind of, yeah, I guess like emotional triggers? Or basically the jokes that you’re saying like—

GABRIEL:  Uh-huh?

JASON: What kind of jokes are you saying that make her say that to you?

GABRIEL:  I’m not entirely sure but usually it happens after like a conversation stop, you know? It’s not specific, I guess the kinds of jokes I’m saying are just about anything, you know?

JASON: Mm-hm.

GABRIEL:  So I’m just having… I’m in a playful mood, I’m just making jokes out of anything and she’s told me that I make her laugh more than any of her friends. I don’t know? I don’t specifically remember what triggered that.

JASON: Mm-hm. Because basically, I mean, when the girl is saying like, oh, my god! I hate you! That means that you’re hitting a trigger that’s like touching on something that she probably cared about or something that she’s attracted to.

GABRIEL:  I see.

JASON: And it’s just kind of like, oh, man, why are you making me like you?

GABRIEL:  Oh!

JASON: That’s—I mean, usually more times than not, that’s the way I interpret it, you know?

GABRIEL:  Okay. Yeah.

JASON: Because it’s playful, and usually when I get those, oh, my god! I hate you? I get like a little shove or like it’s some kind of kino from her, too. Have you been getting that?

GABRIEL: Ah…

JASON: Like they really try to push you playfully like, oh, my god! I hate you, get away… that little like playful…

GABRIEL:  Yeah, I get that, too. But the kino, it’s mostly been me who initiated it.

JASON: Mm-hm.

GABRIEL:  She doesn’t have much experience dating, so yeah, it’s mostly been on me but I guess I get the same feeling, you know, she’s like where she’s playful. I see it now.

JASON: Mm-hm. I mean one thing you can do is like mirror that, you know? Like, oh, my god! We can’t hang out anymore, you’re too much.

GABRIEL:  Yeah.

JASON: You’re going to get me in trouble. Hey, you’re too much of a good girl for me. This is where you start throwing those little sound bites. Especially for everyone—

GABRIEL:  Basically.

JASON: … called that I worked with in the past, when you have that level of attraction already that means that she’s invested in you. Now you can start kind of turning the tables or if you look at it as a push and pull, right? So you did enough pulling where she’s already trying to come on to you in a sense. So now you playfully push to almost like dangle you in front of her like, you want me? Are you sure you want me? Does that make sense? I can—

GABRIEL:  Yeah, it makes sense.

JASON: … in a different way—okay! So basically, yeah, that’s just like a playful like—Oh my god,  I hate you! They say that because basically you’re triggering some kind of emotional response that like I get that a lot when I joke about something and I go into this like f***ed up area or like you know, I take it somewhere where people don’t usually take it, or I make fun of her or something, or also when I put them in like a bind like, what? You said this and that means this, this, this and this. She said, what?

GABRIEL:  I see.

JASON:  No! you’re just messing with me. I’m just f***ing with you. Oh my god! I hate you! You see those types of situations, does that sound familiar to what you’re getting?

GABRIEL:  Yeah! I guess so. Yeah, so with this one it’s been a little bit weird too. So like at the beginning of the second date what she did was she talked about this guy she’d been messaging for the last three weeks, right?

JASON: Hm.

GABRIEL:  They went out once and how the guy texted her, that same day, twenty minutes earlier on that he said they should stop seeing each other.

JASON: Yeah.

GABRIEL: And I wasn’t sure what to think of that because it has never happened before.

JASON: Ahm…

GABRIEL:  So…

JASON: I wouldn’t make too much of it. It could be like she’s kind of hinting that she’s not talking to anyone. That could be one way. Another way I’ve seen that is where a girl would try to talk about another guy. Oh yeah, I met this guy and he won’t stop calling me, how come he doesn’t get the hint or something? They’ll say something like that, she’s going to bring up that fact that they’re talking to other guys, too.

GABRIEL:  Oh, okay.

JASON: So that’s… there’s two ways of interpreting that. That I’ve seen in my… just over time,  patterns that I’ve seen. It’s either she’ll be trying to signal that she’s single or she’ll basically be trying to do like a jealousy plot line on you.

GABRIEL:  Ah, I see.

JASON: Like I actually—

GABRIEL:  What happens?

JASON: Huh?

GABRIEL:  Sorry, go ahead.

JASON: I was just going to say that actually just happened to me yesterday. So this girl I am hooking up with, she knows the bar I always go to. And then she text me earlier, oh, I’m going to hang out with some old friends because she asked me what am I doing blah, blah, blah; and I’m like okay, cool, whatever. So then I’m at the bar and she shows up and she’s with another dude and basically what she was trying to do was jealousy plotline me because you know, we’re in an open dating. We’re just hooking up and you know she shows up to the bar with another guy. See, I don’t care if they’re hooking up or whatever. I knew that from the beginning but what bothers me is the fact that she shows up to my bar, which she knows I go there all the time, like all the time, and tries to do some kind of jealousy plotline on me. To me, at a core level, her doing that, she was trying to bring up jealousy which to me it’s an attack in a way.

GABRIEL:  I see.

JASON: Where I don’t feel like I’m being respected at that point and then she tries to text me like an hour ago saying like, oh, man, all I remember was hugging you last night. So I guess she was drinking or whatever to me, the fact that she shows up to the bar that she knows I always go to and she’s with another dude on purpose, understanding like in front of me, I take that that crosses my personal boundary.

GABRIEL:  I see.

JASON: You know what I mean? In that case, yeah, they could talk about another guy and that’s like a jealousy plotline, but if they are actually doing something to like I guess add insult to injury, you know? That’s of another version of a jealousy plotline. Do you see how it just applies in general to stuff women do, some women?

GABRIEL:  Yeah.

JASON: So I mean—

GABRIEL: Definitely.

JASON: That’s just an experience that happened to me yesterday that I thought I’d share with the group so that you guys could see that if it happens to you at some other point, and it’s also having your set boundaries, you know, like what are you willing to and not willing to tolerate.

GABRIEL:  Yeah, it makes sense.

JASON: And to me if someone doesn’t have my best interest I don’t even want to give them sex like f*** that it’s… I put in work for that.

GABRIEL:  Hmm.

JASON: I don’t want—

GABRIEL: Yeah!

JASON: For the two of them to have to like f***ing earn it [00:09:13], you know?

GABRIEL:  Yeah.

JASON: Anymore questions? Does that answer your question?

GABRIEL:  No. Yeah it does. It does. Yeah, that’s it, I think. Thank you.

JASON: All right. Let’s go… by the way, this chick that’s in your class, I would personal—if you’re really interested in hooking her, I would… you need to start escalating it. Even if it’s you know, hey, let’s hangout outside of class and go for like a kiss close in a little secluded area. Take her to like a nice spot in the school, like, hey, let’s go walk around between classes or something. You want to close the time and try to close as soon as possible, too, you know, because—

GABRIEL:  Okay.

JASON: You also got to keep in mind that the semesters or the courses are going to end.

GABRIEL:  Yeah.

JASON: And there’s a buying temperature that you have to be aware of that if you don’t close within a certain buying temperature, then more times than not it loses its charge and the girl is not interested anymore.

GABRIEL:  I see.

JASON: And it’s usually because they think that the guy isn’t interested because the guy didn’t make the move.

GABRIEL:  Okay. Is that when you become friend zoned?

JASON: Yeah! That too! If you let yourself become friend zoned, like me, I’d rather like have the girl hate me than be friend zoned, you know?

GABRIEL:  Yeah.

JASON: I’d rather push and find out that she’s not interested in me sexually than to get friend zoned, unless that’s what I want. If I just want her as a wing woman kind of thing, then I’ll keep it there but usually you know, I don’t have enough time to like hang out with my friends, you know? I’m not just going to be making female friends and they’re either not going to wing for me or they don’t want to pursue something with me, or just friends in general you know?

GABRIEL:  Yeah. Okay, make sense.

JASON:  All right!

GABRIEL:  Thank you.

JASON: Upgrade!

UPGRAID: Yes! Okay, so, I just want to ask you. Here’s something that happened this weekend. I was at the night club that I’ve never been there before and it had like a night club park and then it was kind of attached to a gentlemen’s club park where you know, I didn’t really go in there so I don’t know if it was like a strip club or maybe just some women like dancing in skimpy clothes or whatever.

JASON: Mm-hm.

UPGRAID:  But, so, I went in towards the gentlemen’s club, and the woman started talking to me or I opened the woman and yeah, opened the woman, and I realized pretty soon that she was working there because it went on like too easy.

JASON: Mm-hm.

UPGRAID: No resistance at all. She was like this super interested right away.

JASON: Hired gun kind of thing?

UPGRAID:  Yeah! So she was a hired gun and so she was like—oh, we can go in here and have some drinks and whatever and I said, no, no. I’m just [00:12:51] instead. And she’s like keep pushing. It’s fine we can get to know each another. And I try to do some DHV and said, you know I used to date a stripper, I know this. And I’m not interested in paying for company.

JASON: Hmm.

UPGRAID:  So I’ll tell you that right now. And then she’s like, oh, okay. Maybe we can see each other like later on after I finish work? And we changed phone numbers.

JASON: Hmm.

UPGRAID:  And then I went back to like the regular club area and she was doing her job and like probably try to be with other guys. And a couple of times since she was working through and spending time with both areas, I ran into her a couple of times during the evening and talked to her a little bit but not in the gentlemen, it’s set apart. And I didn’t buy her any drinks or anything just chatted a little bit. And so I thought at that point that I was going well and then she’s like I’m going to finish up working in half an hour. And then we can hang out. And then half an hour went by and then next time I happened to see her she’s like, oh, my boss said I have to work another hour or something.

JASON: Mm-hm.

UPGRAID: And so she kind of stringing me along a little bit. And finally, it was kind of late, so I said, hey, you got my number, because she was going to be there for another hour or something. So I said I’m going to leave, you got my number, so let me know if you want to meet later then you can just give me a call. And then she brought up something, like, oh, you know what I got to… I have really trouble later. My rent is due tomorrow something like that then I need some money, yeah! And I just told her that, hey, I’m not going to pay anything for you.

JASON: Mm-hm.

UPGRAID:  And I left. And I kind of felt a little bit stupid and I… first of all, I thought actually, I got somewhere during the evening because I thought when I lay down the boundaries right away when we met and told her, hey, I’m not going to pay any money, I don’t pay for company, I thought she might have actually respected that and then it… by the end of the night, I just felt like I was fooled anyway even though it didn’t cost me anything.

JASON: Mm-hm, because you were chasing her, right?

UPGRAID:  Yeah, because I was chasing and she was still in her, I guess her work mode.

JASON: Mm-hm.

UPGRAID:  And I… so I guess, I wanted to know if what you should do when you are trying to pick up the hired gun, like that? What I could have done differently to maybe make it more clear that she shouldn’t try to work me or something?

JASON: I think for this question, if we kind of get in her mind set a little bit, maybe it’ll help you see what’s going on behind the lines, basically like her processes of thinking.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: So in her head she’s at a place where the gentlemen’s club, right?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: More times than not, the types of guys that goes there, guys that need to get women, right? That don’t have—

UPGRAID:  Yeah!

JASON: Women already.

UPGRAID:  Yes.

JASON: So her mind set is every guy here wants sex.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: And is possibly willing to pay for it.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: So then she comes in, she opens you or even if you opened her, she’s still going to kind of run game on you basically, your… by her letting you run game on her she’s running game on you because she knows that at the core level, the more investment there is from both sides in the conversation the more chasing each person would do.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: And then she knows that if the woman and the guy is most likely going to pursue harder than she is because she has a lot more options.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: You know that’s her reality. So mixed with that and even if you told… it’s like when a girl tells you, hey, I’m not going to have sex with you. That’s already like, oh, I know we’re not, let’s go hang out at my place anyway, you know, we’re not going to have sex or anything.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: You can use that back on them.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Does that make sense?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Yeah, so basically, what you did is you took sex out of the table. You’re like, hey I’m not going to have sex with you and then her, in her mind, she’s almost taking the guy mentality at this point where she is gaming you. In her mind it’s like, okay, that is just an excuse, you know, but he’s still going to do it.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON:  She’s basically assuming the sale.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: You know how we tell you that when you’re approaching you have to approach fully congruent and confidently that you’re going to close this just it adds to your inner state.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: So that’s what she’s doing. She’s kind of like, yeah we’re not going to have sex but anyway come back to my place. Basically in her head, if she could have land it longer she would have probably tried to get back to your place and get you turned on and then she’d like wait do you want to pay for it or not? Just to see…

UPGRAID: Yeah.

JASON: And it works both ways, you know? Like if you get a girl back to your place and she starts getting aroused by you, she’s most likely to do something, then if you asked her for it at the bar or club, does that make sense?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: So she’s doing the same concept on you.

UPGRAID:  Yeah. Yeah.

JASON: Does that give you like a new insight on…

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Her psychology?

UPGRAID:  Yeah. Yeah it does.

JASON: So from that, what do you think you could do to I guess qualify for that?

UPGRAID:  I’m not sure. It seems like no matter what I say she’s going to still run it the way she wants it.

JASON: So that means that who’s staying in control of that situation?

UPGRAID:  She’s in control, because no matter what I say, she’s going to pretend that she’s interested in me to get the opportunity to make the sale later.

JASON: Yes. So how do you take control back? You do it by basically turning it on her and qualifying.

UPGRAID: Yeah!

JASON: Let’s say a freakin’—let’s say you have a girlfriend and she comes up at you and she’s like, hey did you get that girl’s number yesterday? You can be either, you can either say like no, no, I didn’t, or you can put her on the spot like well did you go out with your friends yesterday?

UPGRAID: Yeah.

JASON: Did a bunch of guys approach you?

UPGRAID:  Hmm.

JASON: You see the difference in responses?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: So basically when you ask a question, you turn the conversation on the other person. And asking a question, one type of question you could ask is a qualification question.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Does that make sense?

UPGRAID:  Yeah. I still don’t really get it.

JASON: Yeah. Well—

UPGRAID:  Even if I try to qualify she’s still going to like jump through the hoops it seems like just so I feel like I’m getting where I want.

JASON: Well, that’s what I’m saying. Now you’re putting her on the spot, you’re turning it on her and then you have to also pull back yourself and demonstrate disinterest like she’s not even attractive to you like everyone else is giving her so much interest and she has to be nice to people then you pull back.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: And you demonstrate disinterest, disqualification.

UPGRAID:  Okay.

JASON: And then you qualify her at the same time so basically now you’re… in a sense now, she has to seek your approval.

UPGRAID:  Okay. Yeah. I get it. I totally missed out that… the disinterested part.

JASON: Yeah.

UPGRAID:  Because it… yeah.

JASON: You get that and you add it with basically showing a little bit of disinterest, push and pull. You still want to escalate the kino and see how much she’ll let you do and not to do but then again—

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: It has to be more calibrated because she’s probably going to let you touch her a lot more and a lot faster than let’s say a regular girl you’re trying to pick up.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Because again it’s her job, she’s allowing it. But if you get it where she is chasing to touch you, you know like one way is, let’s say she starts trying to touch you playing like a lot of higher, I don’t know if you noticed, a lot of hired guns would like to touch you a lot.

UPGRAID:  Yeah. I didn’t notice with her though. But I noticed that it was easy for me to escalate.

JASON: Mm-hm. So a lot of them were like let’s say they touched you, you know you pull their hand out like hey! Hands off the merchandise, you got to buy me a drink first.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Stuff like that where it’s kind of like switching the roles like hey, hey, hey! We just met, you can’t touch me.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: You know what I mean?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Does that help you kind of distinguish and differentiate…

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Something like—

UPGRAID: It does!

JASON: Happening again? You know, you want to qualify more. You want to basically do more of the push and pull.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Right? You want to you know, disqualify yourself in a sense where it’s kind of like disqualified disinterest because there’s a playful disqualification where you’re like, oh no man! You know what? We can’t be together. I still live in my mom’s basement and she won’t let me have people over. That’s like a playful one.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: But there’s also like disinterest one, where it’s kind of like… well it’s also playful but it’s showing more disinterest like hey, hands off the merchandise, you know?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: You see the difference in what you’re implying to those two statements?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: One of them is like a playful banter the other one is like a push away.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: So you include a lot of those terms to get her to start creating like that stronger push and pull.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: You good?

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: All right!

UPGRAID:  I got it!

JASON: So now it’s Frank. Or do you have any more questions to that or that’s—

FRANK: All right.

UPGRAID:  No, I think it’s good. If you want we could go through maybe some of the rewrites of those DHV?

JASON: Okay.

UPGRAID:  Like—

JASON: We’ll rehearse on it too after I get to Frank.

UPGRAID:  Okay!

JASON: Alright, Frank, you’re up!

FRANK:  All right! What I have is a little bit different than what the guys have.

JASON: Mm-hm. That’s fine.

FRANK:  It’s basically I’m kind of stuck with these two girls. One of them is a girl that I met about a month ago, maybe a month and a half or so. So I’ve been busy a lot recently so I didn’t really have much in stuff so it’s like going to work, doing my thing, call her up like hey, why don’t you just come and chill at my place and so we’re just hooking up good. At the weekend going to the pool or something, we just go to the pool and that’s been happening. Then it like I don’t know, a lot, and the thing is she just want to get serious and that’s not what I want.

JASON: Mm-hm.

FRANK: Now I don’t want to push her so hard and let’s say get rid of her because I’m kind of enjoying what I’m having but I don’t want to get serious. And I even said and I said it and I was being honest, I said look, I don’t know you, I’m not trying to be serious, I’m just… we’re having fun and let’s not try to take this to any other level. But she keeps on trying.

JASON: Mm-hm.

FRANK:  Now I don’t know. Should I just let it be like, you know let’s just end it right now.

JASON: So what—

FRANK:  That’s it or is there a way of talking—

JASON: Mm-hm. So what did she say or what do you mean by she keeps on trying?

FRANK:  Hello?

JASON: Yes? Can you hear me?

FRANK:  Yeah, I can hear you now.

JASON: Okay. Well, you’re saying that what did she do to keep on trying as you were saying it?

FRANK:  Basically, now it’s happening almost every night or every other night she would call me like what are you doing after work like and I’d say, you know what I just came home and then I’m going to see some of my friends and whatever and she’d be like can I join? Or just call me whenever you’re done with your friends and I’ll come to your place and stuff.

JASON: Mm-hm. Okay, so—

FRANK:  These kinds of things, you know?

JASON: Okay, got it.

FRANK: Yeah!

JASON: So basically she’s trying to take as much time, take as much of your time as she can so that you don’t see other girls.

FRANK:  Well, kind of and you know sometimes when she comes here she leaves some stuff and then when she leaves like, oh, yeah, I left this thing in your apartment, I’ll collect it the next time. And you know, these kinds of things.

JASON: Yeah! So that’s what she’s doing. She’s—the more she… basically her logic is the more time that she spends with you the higher the chances are of you getting attached and the lower the chances are of another girl spending—

FRANK: Yeah!

JASON: That time with you. So basically, my rule of thumb…

FRANK:  Yeah? What’s that? Yeah?

JASON: When I’m hooking with a girl, I like to only do it once or twice a week. Because if I start going to like three or four times a week, they start getting really attached really fast. It’s almost like an exponential curve where if you do it like once a week it’s like a slow attachment, if you do it twice a week it speeds up. If you do it three, four times a week it just shoots through the roof where like in two weeks or something they’ll be like in love with you.

FRANK:  A 100%, yeah!

JASON: So basically—

FRANK:  But, so you—

JASON: What was it there?

FRANK:  What’s happening with what I was doing was a little bit different. It was like I’m going out with my friends and just like going to bars or something.

JASON: Mm-hm.

FRANK:  And she’ll call me up so I’d call her down, I’m just hanging out with friends you can join if you want. And then she’ll be coming be like okay, and you know what? A few drinks and we’re like okay so why don’t you just come to my place. And that’s how it started basically.

JASON: Mm-hm. Yeah!

FRANK:  So now, to be honest, this time it’s kind of stuck.

JASON: Oh no! I mean with that it’s just a slow descent. Slow detachment in a way where you slowly start increasing the frequency, decreasing the frequency that you see her, so if you’re used to maybe hitting—like how often do you see her a week, because it seems like she’s texting you  every day.

FRANK:  Oh, yeah. She’s texting every day, I know. Right now it’s like… right now it’s about three times a week.

JASON: Three times a week. Okay, now are you hooking up with her each time?

FRANK: Yeah.

JASON: Now—

FRANK:  Oh, yeah!

JASON: Basically, right now, I mean the way I see it? It’s not that like a climax point where they start getting really attached, and it’s either going to be like blow up where she’s going to be like, no, this isn’t going to happen and she’s going to stop pursuing and just stop communication, or she’s going to start to push harder and get her way by pushing harder. And so basically—

FRANK:  Yeah?

JASON: Does that make sense?

FRANK:  Yes! She’s definitely pushing harder. She’s like buying presents and stuff now. She just, she going at it like I’m kind of seeing her she came with those bags of presents, I’m like, what are you doing? We’ll I was in the mall I saw this stuff and I thought of you and I’m like, oh, god!

JASON: She wants to make you feel good you don’t want to take that away from her, but also—

FRANK:  Yeah.

JASON: The way… I mean, I like to make the girl feel like we’re just having fun and keeping it very light, I, for me, personally, I never really bring up relationships, I never bring up anything. Even at times like I’ve told the girl, hey, I’m not trying to get into a relationship before I even like hook up with them but I’m—so basically, what I’d recommend and what I’ve done in situations like that is I start slowly detaching myself from the situation so instead of three days, I might hang out two days, right? And then eventually, kind of gauge it out and see if she’s getting crazier or getting less crazy? And then if that, then I’ll throw in a couple times where we don’t hook up, you know, like go to a place where there’s like zero percent that you’d be able to hook up. So then you’ll hook up with her once a week, and then the other day you just hang out as like friends. In that way she starts, the energy—

FRANK:  Yeah.

JASON:  Is kind of shifting where she starts getting a little bit more detached from you but it also keeps her mind f***ed where she wants to basically still try to figure out why you didn’t hook up with her that day basically.

FRANK:  Yeah. Maybe, I’ll just do that, yeah. Right!

JASON: Because why would you just cut your losses, why would you get rid of a good thing?

FRANK:  True! True. A 100%!

JASON:  I don’t—all the women I meet, they are great women and I really enjoyed the time I spend with them but at the same time, you know, I’m not going to cut one of them off because they pressure me for a relationship. I’ll be truthful and be like, hey, look, I’m not trying to get into a relationship. I’m really focused on my work right now, and you know, I’m not going to be able to give it my all so I don’t want to give you a half-a**ed relationship. Do you agree that—

FRANK:  That’s exactly what I said. Yeah!

JASON: Yeah! Even out in that part, like do you agree that that’s what would happen and she’ll be like, yeah, yeah. You get her to make her feel like she thought of the idea, you know? And it also makes you look like you’re not just trying to hook up with her like, hey!

FRANK:  Yeah.

JASON: I have genuinely I’m working on my career that requires all my time. Plus you said you have two?

FRANK:  Yeah. Yeah.

JASON: Yes, so even then that’s the other one?

FRANK:  The other one is a bit different. The other one is different. The other one I met her through… we have a mutual friend.

JASON: Mm-hm.

FRANK:  So my friend was over here, so he was flying over here and so he called her from my phone and he went… he met her, whatever and then came back to my place, chilled here, whatever. She called me the next day, because she called my phone so I picked it up whatever, blah, blah, blah; and she started texting me and stuff.

JASON: Mm-hm.

FRANK:  She’s a bit older and she was hooking up with my friend. [Unintelligible 00:35:06] thing I was cool, it was awesome, it was great! My friend was having fun, it’s all good. So what happened after my friend left, she kept on texting me, she was like, hi! How are you doing?  Whatever! Blah, blah, blah. And I said yeah, let’s meet. So I met her and I made sure when I met her that I was out with my friends and she just came, right? So it was all good. We were talking, she’s fun, everybody was great then I’m like hey, you got a [Unintelligible 00:35:48] why don’t you introduce me to some of them, right? And she’s like oh yeah, sure, why not? We’re going next week on a party. Where going to this big party why don’t you come over and whatever, and I said, sure why not? Anyway, I didn’t show up to that party. And she keeps on talking, and texting me and calling me, whatever. I’m in like yeah, yeah. Let’s hang out. So I met her a few times.

JASON: Mm-hm.

FRANK:  And every time I thought I’m like, well, let’s go out, and you can wing me, let’s go to a bar you can… and she was cool.

JASON: So now you’re hooking up with her?

FRANK:  No. I didn’t do and I made sure not to do it.

JASON: Got it, okay.

FRANK:  Now, she’s trying. And she sent me those weird a***ed pictures and whatever, and I’m like what are you trying to do? Nothing’s going to happen and she’s like laugh it off but she kind of switched from being wanting to hook me up with somebody, now she’s trying for me. Now I’m telling her like, no f***ing way! It ain’t going to happen, and I’m being very honest with her. And I don’t—I haven’t done anything wrong. And I haven’t anything to make her feel that I want her in any way.

JASON: Mm-hm.

FRANK:  I mean, I don’t know. Maybe she’s just thinking that—

JASON: What do you want out of that relationship?

FRANK:  Maybe she’s just thinking like why does something… I don’t know? I… oh, to be honest I want her friends.

JASON: Oh, okay. Well then…

FRANK:  Yeah, to be honest here.

JASON:  Will there be—

FRANK:  [Crosstalk 00:37:43] because…

JASON: Yeah, then honestly, I mean, it would be—Hey! Can you get me in front of your friends? Figure out how to get what you want as soon as possible before—because again, if she’s starting to pursue you now, if you don’t hook up… I mean, basically, any kind of relationship, it either grows or it dies. So if you don’t escalate it and take it to the next level, it’s going to die. So basically, she’s going to get tired of chasing and you’re going to lose that possibility of meeting her friends. So basically you want to get in front of her friends as soon as possible. Before that buying temperature is gone.

FRANK:  So I just push for that then?

JASON: Well, yeah! If that’s your goal, you know, if your goal is to meet her friends.

FRANK:  Yeah.

JASON: And not hook up with her. She’s basically… it’s like if you’re chasing a girl, right? You’re chasing, and chasing, and chasing. And she’s interested in your friend but you’re still chasing. Aren’t you going to get tired of chasing her? It’s just so much like rejection that you’re just kind of like, now f*** this girl!

FRANK:  Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.

JASON: It’s the same thing that’s going to happen, so it’s either like…

FRANK:  Yeah!

JASON: Hurry up and go for the close, don’t drag out the game longer than you need to.

FRANK:  Yeah. Got you. Okay, cool! That was it.

JASON: Awesome!

FRANK:  Those were my two things.

JASON: Okay. So now the last thing I’d said I’d get to Upgrade to deliver one of his DHV stories?

UPGRAID:  Yeah!

JASON: All right! Let’s see—

UPGRAID:  I just—

JASON: We got time for like what’s—

UPGRAID:  I just made some… okay. So first I have, hey guys, I wanted to come over and introduce myself. You look like fun. I’m Upgrade. So I changed that a little bit because it felt smoother to go with it’s—you look like fun instead of you look like you have great energy. I tried different things.

JASON: Mm-hm.

UPGRAID:  That felt more natural, I thought.

JASON: What kind of… did you get the same kind of reaction?

UPGRAID:  I think not too much of a difference in reaction but some I did get the reaction, I think for both of them, like, how do you mean? So if I started with, you look like fun, and they go, oh, what do you mean? Then I would say, well, you give off this good energy.

JASON: Hmmm.

UPGRAID:  I don’t know? I think it kind of worked.

JASON: Yeah, because there’s an approach where I’ve done where I just kind of, you have to do a very in state, very grounded. If you just come in like, hey, you girls look like fun!

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Basically something like that. Yeah, it works. I would honestly just field test it.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Try [00:41:01] times and see what percentage hits and what… and try both, you know? Try that one and try like, hey, you guys, excuse me, you’re totally distracting me.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Try it and see which one you get better reactions. That’s field tested. You know if you’re saying you feel more comfortable doing it, then field test it where you know that that’s a guaranteed opener.

UPGRAID:  Yeah. I’ll do that. Then the one I’ve been practicing but… that… I don’t feel it’s really that hook, maybe a little bit better is this. You know my friend Michelle, she was just there. She’s a model so she’s always travelling, and I met up with her last Spring, you know, in Los Angeles, it was awesome! And I’m going back in a couple of months.

JASON: I like your delivery. You changed the wording a little bit, but I like your delivery.

UPGRAID:  Yeah! Okay. That’s good. And then, I changed this a little bit also. So get this, I’m teaching my niece how to play pool. I want her to be confident. I imagine how many people I can hustle when I show up with a five year old beating everyone!

JASON: Mm-hm. It just doesn’t make sense to me like how you transitioned from I want her to be confident to imagine when I show up to the bar and she’s beating everyone, you know like the story doesn’t make sense.

UPGRAID:  Yeah. There’s something missing there.

JASON: Yeah. Maybe another clause where it’s like, you know I’m teaching my little niece how to play pool, right, I want her to feel—I’m just going to use your wording.

UPGRAID:  Okay.

JASON: I want her to feel confident, you know? Like, damn! I can make so much freakin’ money off of her, like imagine I just show up to the bar and we hustle like everyone at pool.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Something like that you know. And I can make money off of her, that’s really create that little like intrigue.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: Just play around with the wording but I think that makes it like… that adds that connection from I’m teaching her to play pool so she could be confident and I can make money off of her, that’s when you like lighten the mood and now they’re like, what? What is this guy talking about?

UPGRAID:  Yeah!

JASON: Or you could even take it to a darker place like, you know and with all these like child trafficking going on like I can make pretty good money off of her. They’re like, what! What do you mean?! And then, yeah, you know like I can take her to the pool and we can just start hustling people. It’s just different ways of implementing humor to your style, you know. Because my style…

UPGRAID: Yeah.

JASON: I use a lot of dark, shock factor humor because I’m… I deliver in a very sarcastic, light-hearted mood where I can say like really f***ed up things in a playful way.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: And people laugh about it.

UPGRAID:  Yeah.

JASON: All right.

UPGRAID:  That’s good.

JASON: You guys all good?

UPGRAID:  Yeah!

GABRIEL: All good.

JASON: All right, guys! So that’s for today. Have a good rest to your week and stay tuned for more VIP calls coming up. I’m going to—

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