Menu
Textbox Section

TAY 190: How to handle yourself on new dates

Posted · Add Comment

Today’s podcast we discussed how to properly peacock. We also discussed the importance of picking the target and going for what you want. Also, we cover how own your material, yourself and how to handle your new dates.

JASON: So right now.

JESSIE: All right.

JASON: Okay, so we’re recording, Jessie.

JESSIE: Yep, how’s it going? Am I your first caller? I actually haven’t been out too much. Just kind of watching the videos, getting the bearing. It’s actually my birthday weekend so I’m a little hungover right now but yeah, so I guess you should start off with… I mean, I know from the book, peacocking is talked a lot about, is that still a thing, or…I mean, I guess that’s my question.

JASON: Yeah, see for…I mean, for me personally, I feel like peacocking is a way to stand out with your clothing or your accessories, would you say that’s correct? Uh, Jessie?

JESSIE: Yeah, sorry.

JASON: So, basically, I don’t really think that over the top look is too in right now but the way I see peacocking is being able to dress well, having a conversation piece in your outfit. I’ll wear like a bracelet or like a watch, surprisingly, I get a lot of attention and compliments from women, even approaches from women when I wear certain types of bracelets, does that make sense?

JESSIE: Yeah, it does.

JASON: So, for me, it’s more of a well-chosen conversation piece whether it’s a necklace or a bracelet or even if it’s a hat, I personally think that if it’s way too over the top, it is going to bring attention but it might not bring attention that you necessarily want.

JESSIE: Gotcha.

JASON: Jamie, do you have input on this?

JAMIE: No, I think that’s pretty good. Look, I mean, Erik says it really well, that you’re just giving them the reason to talk to you. That conceptually, it works. You just want to make sure that you’re able to maintain that character, you don’t want to dress in a way that brings attention to you or a way that really is not who you are. But if you’re wearing something that really is kind of it stands out, looks nice, and a girl wants to talk to you, she will. I mean, personally, the best way to really stand out is just wear clothes that fit you, wear things that are a little bit more kind of showcase your status, like really nice shoes. If you can swing it, something like Gucci, Prada. I consider that stuff investment. Buy one pair and you get a lot of use out of it, so stuff like that. I mean, girls notice those kinds of things so you can definitely peacock but in a way that is right for you, giving that girl the opportunity to speak to you if she chooses to do so.

JESSIE: Okay, well.

JASON: Does that answer your question completely?

JESSIE: Yeah, yeah. It definitely gives me a good starting impression.

JASON: Okay, so it looks like Mike, too, you’re going to… I have you now on the list. Let’s see, Upgrade, talk to me.

UPGRADE: Yeah, this is [Unintelligible 00:04:25] but I sometimes notice that, and it happened this weekend also, that if I open up a two sets and before going into the set, I have already picked my target and then, once I’m in the set, it feels like the obstacle is more interested. Is it okay to change and rather have her as a target or should I be consistent with what I decided going in? That’s it.

JASON: Yeah, I would say personally, it really depends on how into the target I am.

UPGRADE: Okay.

JASON: Where, if she’s like if I’m blown away by the girl, I’m just going to keep hitting till I hook her.

UPGRADE: Yeah.

JASON: Where if they’re pretty close and they’re like, okay, she’s hot but she’s hot too, and she’s super into me, I might just be like, “Okay, well, I’m okay with either one.”

MIKE: Yeah.

JASON: That’s my personal choice. Jamie, do you have more on this, too? This is like…

JAMIE: I mean, I would say just from if we’re doing this right to improve ourselves, if the first and foremost outcome is just to get better and to improve the way we’re able to present to others, then you want to practice perfectly, and if you’re practicing perfectly, you’re doing it to go for what your actual real outcome is. So, if you open up that set because you have one specific girl in mind, your target, why switch? Why not go for what you actually wanted? I mean, that’s almost like betraying yourself. It’s like, wow, I said I deserved the best, but okay I’m willing to take some scraps, that’s okay. There’s something not quite right with that. Better you fail.

UPGRADE: Yeah.

JAMIE: That’s going to be different in that real rare case where you legitimately become more interested in the obstacle who’s not initially the target, that’s I guess okay, but do it right, man.

UPGRADE: Yeah, okay.

JASON: Yeah, I think—

UPGRADE: Because— I’m sorry, yeah?

JASON:            I was just going to add, I think the way Jamie put it, like if I’m back to the target, I will pursue it and I mean, there’s a point that that’s completely right where it’s like if the target, if I’m really like I would just, I don’t even care if the other one’s throwing herself at me. I still want what I wanted.

UPGRADE: Yes. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say maybe it’s natural that you start by ignoring the target a little bit in the beginning. Maybe it’s natural that it seems like the obstacle is more interested in you just because you’ve focused more attention on her, so maybe it’s kind of a false kind of feeling that she’s more interested.

JASON: Yeah, definitely. I mean, yeah, I’ll definitely give a little less attention to the target to get her kind of chasing.

UPGRADE: Yeah. But I’ll keep that in mind and I’ll stick with the target I picked going in.

JASON: Do you have any more—or  you know what? We’ll go through once and then, we’ll do another round if we need to or if you guys feel good.

UPGRADE: Okay.

JASON: But, Mike 2.

MIKE2:           Yeah?

JASON: Oh! Yeah, Mike 2.

MIKE2:           So, I recently recorded myself trying some routines where I just clear the path and the stuff on your assigned like a week, almost like I’ve come across too friendly. So my question is how do I go about being more masculine and projecting more authority when I’m talking to a girl? Is that something that just comes through with lots of practice?

JASON: Let me ask you, what part of your recordings did you feel were not as masculine or not as assertive, or was it what you were saying or how you were saying it?

MIKE2:           Like, if I just breath in a conversation, it turns better but I’m generating like I can almost sense it’s a bit weak or too friendly. So, how do I… what’s the mind set though when you try to come across as more like an alpha male?

JASON: So basically, you’re saying when you’re delivering the routines, you feel you don’t come off as alpha, you come off as too friendly but when you’re having a regular conversation, you’re okay with it.

MIKE2:  Like more natural.

JASON: Okay, so what’s stopping you from coming off as more alpha when you’re delivering your material?

MIKE2:           I’m not sure, maybe because I’ve done it enough times where the routine is or I don’t know whether it’s going to hit or not, maybe they come out [inaudible 00:11:26]. I don’t know. I just can’t put my finger on it.

JASON: Okay, so I’m assuming you have your material memorized to a T.

MIKE2:           Yeah.

JASON: Just from doing it so much. Well, I guess the next step would really be making it yours where it feels like you’re coming up with the story or the routine on the spot.

MIKE2:           Right, okay.

JASON: Does that make sense?

MIKE2:  Yeah, it’s more authentic.

JASON: Some of the—

MIKE2:           Maybe it always end up tweaking it slightly to the person you are talking to.

JASON: Because some of the things that I did early on to really make it sound more natural is whatever the routine was, I imagined like it was actually happening to me. I put myself in that situation and thought, how would I be feeling at this moment? How would I be acting? How would I be delivering this if I was telling someone this story, would I be mad? Would I be happy? Would I be embarrassed? What emotions would I need to portray in my delivery and the way I [Inaudible 00:12:47]and my voice. Does that make sense?

MIKE2:           Yeah, I visualize it more and I emote more whilst I’m doing this.

JASON: Yeah, basically, you hit it right on the spot. You want to emote more and completely personalize it where it’s really…and almost get yourself excited. I’m sure you’ve done this routine enough times where you know it’s going to hit so it’s like, why wouldn’t you be excited about delivering something that is going to make someone else laugh and smile?

MIKE2:  Yeah, like constantly, I don’t enjoy it more. All right, okay.

JASON: Does that kind of cover what you’re…

MIKE2:           Yeah, that’s it, absolutely.

JASON: Jamie, do you have input on this too?

JAMIE: Yeah, okay. So, Mike, I think you didn’t get along in terms of examples. I think it’s great what you’re doing by the way. That’s such a key thing. A lot of people don’t realize that by not taking the time to record themselves—I mean, dude, to anyone listening here, do you not record yourself?

MIKE2:           [CROSSTALK 00:14:09] and fail. I just know like the recording sounds nice.

JAMIE: No, no, no, I know I heard you right, no, I heard you right and I’ll tell you why that’s awesome. And anyone listening, why if you don’t do that, record yourself by yourself before you go out, you’re missing out because you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to test for incongruency. See, what happens is if you don’t take the time to do what Mike is doing and you just say to yourself, oh, okay, I’m just going to do the fight outside, right? Then, you go to the bar and whatever and then, all of a sudden, you don’t say anything. Well, why is that? Because you’re not congruent with it, there was no fight outside, right? So, you’re not talking because you never took the time to test your material to see if you were really congruent with it. So, what’s awesome about what you’re doing Mike, is you’re putting yourself through that test and you’re realizing, there’s something not quite right about what I’m doing. I’m not portraying myself in the way that I want to be portrayed.

So, this is awesome, this is a great process that you’re doing that ultimately is going to lead you to that next step so I think that part’s great, but in that, you didn’t really necessarily give us any specific examples about why you’re not coming across the way you want to come across, so I’m going to tell you something here. I think the real, one of the big keys to coming across masculine, assertive, confident is not really so much in what you say because when you say certain things, what you’re doing is you’re maintaining, hey, this is my world, this is how I look at the world. I can do this. I can say that. The part that really makes you assertive or masculine, or alpha is not necessarily about what you say or the frame you introduce, it’s about how well you can maintain it. I’ll give you an example. Let’s look at one of like…let’s look at a classic Erik sound bite. Have you heard the one before where he goes, “Oh, don’t start. I eat girls like you for breakfast,”

MIKE2:           Yeah.

JAMIE: You heard that one before, Mike?

MIKE2:           Yeah, yeah.

JAMIE: Would you say that’s a masculine phrase and you just…if you just look at that at face value, is that a masculine phrase?

MIKE2:           Yeah, definitely. It’s one though which I actually find hard to do. But it’s almost like childish and playful, it’s not really necessarily masculine, you following me?

MIKE2:           Yeah. Like there’s [Unintelligible 00:16:37]

JAMIE: But what if the girl shit tests, Eric? What if the girl shit tests, Eric? “Uh, oh sorry, I eat girls like you for breakfast,” “Oh, really?” and then what if Eric then stacked forward to, “Where’s your off button?” That’s not really a masculine phrase either, you following me?

MIKE2:           Yeah, yeah.

JAMIE: But he’s maintaining his frame. I’m in charge. I’m the one who’s going to get to decide what happens here. I decide what is fun and entertaining versus what’s not. I’m the authority, he’s maintaining his frame. It’s not so much about what he’s saying, it’s about that how he’s maintaining his reality. That’s what I think you really need to look at. You following me?

MIKE2:           Yeah, yeah, that’s actions, I’m maintaining.

JAMIE: Yeah, so, I think you… I mean, a lot of people get really sucked into oh, I don’t have the perfect opener. For example, you can kind of get away with anything if your energy’s right. If you really have a strong frame control and the right energy, you can f**king open with anything pretty much. The problem is, most people cave, the most people when they’re challenged, they just kind of fall over but if you can maintain your world view that you’re correct, that what you said is funny, and those kind of things, then that is what gives you that image that you’re ultimately looking for.

MIKE2:  Right, okay.

JAMIE: So, I would look at the ways you’re actually going to maintain that frame that your world view is the correct one.

MIKE2:           Yeah, okay.

JAMIE: That and you call us to do a check for congruency. Look at your material. If your material’s whatever you were offering, it’s not something you believe in, you’re not congruent with it, okay, then, scratch that off too. But if you got something you believe in, you’re like, “You know what, this is how I look at the world. I do think this is funny.” Then, it’s up to you to make the decision that no one’s going to tell you otherwise and that’s why you have your objection handlers and those kinds of tools to maintain that your world view is the right one. For example, that little soundbite. “Where’s your off button?” “Oh, my God, don’t start. I eat girls like you for breakfast.” Those aren’t masculine phrases but you use them to maintain what you say as true, that’s it.

MIKE2:           Right, okay.

JAMIE: So, I’d hit it from those two angles and I think you’ll have a much stronger presentation going forward.

MIKE2:  Okay, makes sense.

JASON: Just to add to what Jamie said, that was a great point. If you can maintain your frame where you’re completely certain on who you are, moving forward, I think that’s going to also affect the way you deliver it, your voice and your tone. So, if your frame is let’s say, I’m going to take your frame like, well, I’m this cool guy and I’m on face play everything, and women are attracted to me, and you go in and a girl challenges that but your frame is so strong, instead of delivering a line with a weak shaky voice, you’re going to be like, oh, okay, yeah. Does that make sense? Maybe looking at it from a different perspective.

MIKE2:           Yeah, yeah. I guess, like I’m commanding the interaction?

JASON: Yes, because—

MIKE2:           Just like the fake palm reading one? I don’t remember the idea as long as I can ask him but I should come across as more commanding, like, show me your palm.

JASON: Yeah, that’s part. Yeah, I like it. “Hey, let me see your hand.” Because what I was going to add to that too was I get this a lot where I push it and I push pretty hard to kind of test where they’re at and a lot of the times I’ll say something and they sit there and stare me down first to see if I’m going to shake and when they notice that I don’t, then they’ll start laughing or then they’ll react, or then they’ll basically let me proceed, does that make sense?

MIKE2:           Yeah, like let them feel the pressure from the vacuum.

JASON: Yeah, they want to see how congruent I really am to that statement I just made.

MIKE2:           Right, okay.

JASON: Does that make sense? I think—

MIKE2:  Yeah, yeah.

JASON: Having your congruency and your frame first of all just completely carries over to all the other areas.

MIKE2:           Right, okay. Yeah, that’s excellent.

JASON: Any more questions on this or does that clarify your…

MIKE2:           Yeah, that’s excellent information. I just can’t think of… I can’t break it down any more than moments. I’ll maybe come back to it next time if I think I must.

JASON: Okay, let’s see.

JAMIE: Can I say one quick thing, Jason?

JASON: Yeah.

JAMIE: If anyone listening here on our podcast, we’re starting to book for our next cruise in August, that’s really what this is about. It’s about going from that conceptual to doing, to actual being, really understand those mechanisms that will allow you to really present a true congruent presentation of who you are and how you want to be seen. Really important to really kind of work through what those little bugs are so you can really just be who you are and understand there’s little kinks that need to be worked out again creating and being able to present before the congruent presentation of who you are. So, if you have any questions about that we’re booking for August for our cruise and it’s not just pickups; it’s personal development as a whole so, really a life changing event. Our number is on venusianarts, it’s 7026062232 or you can email me directly at jamie@venusianarts.com.

MIKE2:           To ask about the cruise or…

JAMIE: Oh, you can but let’s handle that offline. If you want to just email me, we’ll set up a time to talk.

MIKE2:           Okay, sounds good.

JAMIE: Okay, all right.

JASON: Okay, let’s see. I’m going to hit Jay and then we’re going to jump to Pete, sound good? So, Jay?

JAY: This week, I had a couple of dates lined up and both flaked on me and I don’t know. One was really weird. I was kept doing the pebbles, kept making it still fresh, everything was solid until literally I don’t know, 5pm or 6pm the day before and then she cancelled and I was like, “Damn,” so I’m just trying to figure out what I did. A week she cancelled and I haven’t talked to her since so it’s something either…I was just wondering maybe she’s talking to another dude or I don’t know what I could’ve done to raise my value more, so that’s probably what I needed to do is raise my value more but it’s hard in text messages. And this was a girl of online deal so it was a different situation so I didn’t get a chance to build comfort. I guess it’s a problem with any kind of online situation.

JASON: My question is two things, how long apart did you set the date from when you were…

JAY: The date was like five days. It was just within the week.

JASON: So maybe like a Monday, meet up for Friday?

JAY: Yeah, yeah, exactly, right.

JASON: See, one thing. I don’t…right now, I picked up this girl last week, like mid-week. To me it’s like a solid nine.

JAY: Okay.

JASON: My issue is that she wasn’t available till Wednesday next week and I don’t like to leave more than two or three days in between telling her, hey—

JAY: Yeah.

JASON: Because that creates anticipation.

JAY: Yep.

JASON: Where now she’s thinking, oh, I want to do this… oh, I don’t, oh, is he cool? Oh, is he not?

JAY: Right.

JASON: I typically like to make my dates a day or two ahead of time. Sometimes I even try to do it on the same day like later on that night. Actually, a lot of the times, I’ll shoot for the same day and even if they say no, I’m like, well, we could still do blah, blah, blah, she’ll give me the options of what are the days she’s available but for me, more than two or three days, it starts building too much anticipation.

JAY: Got you. Yeah, I totally agree.

JASON: And it leaves too much room for you to f**k it up in between.

JAY: Yeah, exactly, and I will. I’ll ruin it by saying one wrong word. It could be anything and it’s just misunderstood or whatever the case. So, and I think that emotional charge they got off of the idea got f**k ed over by the logical bone in their head.

JASON: Exactly, exactly.

JAY: And that’s the problem I’m running into, so yeah, I have to shorten the amount of time so if anything, don’t even book anything until a day before, two days before the same day.

JASON: Exactly.

JAY: But no more than…yeah, no more than three days.

JASON: And then to add to that, let’s say the date has to be I think two or three weeks ago, same thing, I was trying to…I was going to meet up with this girl and she’s like, “Oh, you know what? I’m gone for four days for vacation.”

JAY: Right.

JASON: That’s another thing, too. I typically don’t like to text them when they’re having fun because then, my text becomes almost irrelevant.

JAY: Oh, s*it. That makes sense.

JASON: So, Saturday night, Friday night, I typically won’t text them at all unless I’m trying to get them to come over. I’m trying to go over their house after I go out or something.

JAY: Okay.

JASON: But then, during the week when they’re back to their regular life, it’s more monotonous so your text is almost like that little spark of excitement for her.

JAY: Right, so they get the emotional charge.

JASON: Yeah.

JAY: Got it. That makes a shitload of sense man. Don’t text on a Friday night when she’s out with her girls.

JASON: Yeah, yeah.

JAY: It’s like it’s almost like I’m devaluing myself.

JASON: Yeah, it’s like, “Oh, what the hell does he want like I’m having fun?”

JAY: Right.

JASON: I mean, think about it, you’re out on a date, right? And another girl texts you, you’re like, “Oh, leave me alone, I’m trying to focus here.”

JAY: Right, exactly. Dude, I don’t know, I didn’t… that, yeah. Okay, well that clears. Yeah, I left too much room and then it’s not… and like Jamie always says which I love is this is another thing in which really helps me get through this emotionally for myself is it’s nothing personal. She thought about it too much and we didn’t hook up, whatever, it had nothing to do with me. It really doesn’t and I just thought the whole willingness to walk away, like whatever, it turned out that way, I’m not going to feel bad, I’m not going to think anything of myself. I’m not going to change, because back before I did this stuff, I would. I’d take everything super personal and then get, oh, it’s me, I fucked it up. I’m a horrible person, you know what I mean? So, I’m growing man, that’s cool.

JASON: Here’s another thing for you. Maybe this will help out later on, on the line. I don’t need to take personal the fact that she’s probably hooking up with some other dude that night that she’s not with me.

JAY: Right.

JASON: Because, I mean, I’ve had…some of the girls I’m with on social media and I look at their posts and they’ll be on vacations, they’ll be doing all these fun things and it makes me almost laugh because I know for a fact that it’s probably some guy taking her out on this expensive vacation where she’s going to hang out with him all weekend and then, she’s going to come back and just come over to my house and watch a movie and have some real fun.

JAY: Right? A cheap date.

JASON: Yeah.

JAY: Affordable sex.

JASON: I don’t take that personal, it’s just part, it’s just something you have to accept. You’re going to be doing this. She’s probably doing the exact same thing.

JAY: Right, and that’s just the way it is, yep. You were right man.

JASON: Jamie, do you have input on this too?

JAMIE: No, I think it’s pretty solid, man. I don’t have anything to add to that one, honestly.

UPGRADE: Is it okay if I add a few things?

JASON: Yeah.

JAMIE: Absolutely, yeah, go for it.

UPGRADE: Okay, perfect. It helps me get more [inaudible 00:30:49]. It’s being very specific. For instance, I’ll tell her that I like [inaudible 00:30:58], do you hear me?

JAMIE: Yep.

UPGRADE: Okay, I’ll text them [inaudible00:31:09] 3 o’clock pm, Tuesday, the exact time, date, place, everything, and all of the logistics and it just makes it way more solid like even the cancellation policy. I mean, it just makes it way more solid.

JAY: So, what did you say about the cancellation thing?

UPGRADE: I’ll even add in the cancellation policy like let’s say it’s a day, you have to cancel within the day, I’ll let them know that.

JAY: Oh, that’s kind of cool. Opening up to cancelling idea, I mean, isn’t that kind of opening up a can of worms? It’s like… I don’t know, am I wrong or…

UPGRADE: I mean, things pop up. You know what I’m saying?

JAY: Yeah, totally. I mean, you’re right. I guess you’re right, you got to make sense.

UPGRADE: Yeah, I’m not saying like, oh, she wants to cancel on me, I’m just throwing that out there. It’s more along the lines of what if an emergency pops up? You know what I mean?

JAY: Yeah. So, you just say, if you don’t want to go cancel within, I don’t know…well, how do you word that?

UPGRADE: No, I definitely don’t introduce as friends, it’s more along the lines of I’ll just put like cancellation policy and then I’ll take the cancellation policy like cancel within 24 hours, something like that, you know what I mean?

JAY: Okay, no, that’s perfect. Yeah, I sure understand.

UPGRADE: But I definitely don’t say, “Oh, if you don’t want to go…” or…

JAY: Right, and then you’re talking her out of it.

UPGRADE: Yeah. I just had to clarify that I don’t introduce that thing.

JAY: Yeah, yeah. I like to be very specific and the timing sense. You’re telling them the time, the spot, everything, and that’s that. I mean, it was Jason and he said two to three days max saying that if possible, that’s where I’m making my mistake, I’m booking shit out of Monday when I should be booking it on a Thursday or a Wednesday latest.

JASON: To add to that Jay, typically, in my head, I completely assume the sale if that makes sense.

JAY: Yeah, I get what you’re saying.

JASON: Instead of saying the cancellation thing but there’s still that uncertainty sometimes if they don’t text back where it’s like, I want to make sure that it’s still on but I don’t want to come off as needy.

JAY: Exactly.

JASON: So, I’ll personally tell her myself two hours before, hey, I’m running about 15 minutes late, let’s meet at blah, blah, blah, and it’s almost like I’m the one that’s…I’m telling her like, “Hey, I’m running a little late, about fifteen minutes,” but it’s really a way for her to be like, “Oh, that’s okay, see you at blah, blah, blah.”

JAY: Right, she confirms it. Right.

JASON: Yeah, because I don’t…

JAY: I like that and I have a date today, I’m actually going to meet this girl and we’re meeting at 4 p.m. and she wants, we’re going to do ice cream and walk on the pier and which sounds great, sounds fun, it’s our first date deal and yeah, so I’m going to…I’ll do that whole deal off, I’ll just before I leave, I’ll just say, I don’t know, I’ll say I’m running a few minutes or like you said, running 15 minutes behind so I don’t head out that way and then, she doesn’t even show.

JASON: Well, I mean, I’ll do it maybe two hours or something early enough where it doesn’t come off as last minute and kind of rude where she’s going to be sitting there waiting but also, I don’t want to…it’s really just to get her to reconfirm so I don’t have to text her like, “Hey, are we still on for three?”

JAY: Right, how else is it… could I also just reconfirm the address or is there another way to go about reconfirming the… if you didn’t want to use the 15 minute late deal, have you ever used anything else by chance?

JASON: See, typically I’m already… typically, I like to get to the venue, now that I think about it, I like to get to the venue beforehand and familiarize myself with everything, talk to people, get myself in a talkative mood, maybe even open a couple of sets just so I’m like… so it looks like I know people when she gets there, does that make sense?

JAY: Oh, that’s cool. Yeah, and that’s really cool. I haven’t even thought of that.

JASON: So, I mean, that’s really…yeah, I just go in there and really make the place mine.

JAY: So, is it wrong to confirm just to say…I could just say I’m headed your way, I’ll see you at four?

JASON: I mean, if you really want to confirm, you can be like, “Hey, I’m going to be inside.”

JAY: Oh, that’s cool. So just, yeah, I got you.

JASON: Yeah, I just don’t want to come off as needy like, “Hey, are you sure you still want to go on a date with me?”

JAY: Right.

JASON: You know that’s…

JAY: No, I totally understand what you’re saying on that and I’ve in the past been very needy not even realizing it until I’ve obviously started with this and started to learn some of my flaws and some of the things that really stop me, so yeah, that makes a ton of sense.

JASON: Okay.

JAY: Perfect, thank you.

JASON: So, does that answer your question?

JAY: Yeah, yeah it does, thank you.

JASON: Okay, let’s see. I think I still have Pete and anyone else that joined afterwards? Pete, are you still there?

PETE: Yeah, yeah, I’m still here.

JASON: So, do you have a question or…

PETE: Yeah, I guess one thing that came to mind is I guess you kind of talked about it I think either the second or third guy tried to ask what kind of led her to the whole when girls shit test you like I guess what are… I don’t know if it’s [inaudible 00:38:36] like what are examples of when a girl is shit testing you while you’re in conversation and I guess I can ask my second question is does it happen where you’ll have a low end conversation or is that you just have to make sure you have your other material to like you’re stacking your materials so the conversation continues to flow, so I guess that’s a good two part question.

JASON: Did you say a rolling or a flowing conversation?

PETE: Flowing.

JASON: Flowing, okay. Yeah, so shit tests are going to come in different ways and forms. A shit test could be as simple as her staring you down to check if you’re really congruent with what you just said or she could make a comment. It’s kind of tough unless you give me a specific example about it but I mean, the best way I could say to really handle your shit test is to have the little sound bites in place, the routines. Also, have your congruency in place and a lot of the times when they’ll say something and I don’t have a response for it, I’ll just be like, yeah, anyways as I was saying like there was this boat, right? Does that make sense?

PETE: Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

JASON: Cut some slack with the shit test because sometimes it’s not even worth the response, it’s just like, this is so ridiculous what she just said that I just completely dismissed it and keep going.

PETE: I got you, like it didn’t even phase you, you just continue with what you were going to say.

JASON: Yeah, so I’m just like, “Yeah, anyway, blah, blah, blah.”

PETE: Okay.

JASON: But then of course, if you have the responses like Jamie was saying earlier like I eat girls like you for breakfast and then she just gives you something and you’re like, “Do you have an off button?” If you have those responses and you’re going to make her laugh, it’s cool but if you’re really… if you don’t have the routine in place, yeah, anyway. So, I wanted to get this new phone right, and I show up to the store, does that makes sense in a way?

PETE: Yeah.

JASON: Now, for the flowing conversation, that’s really going to… unless you have intense amounts of rapport, sometimes it could be tough like me, I mean, at this point, I’ve trained myself to just be able to talk for hours and hours, and hours about interesting topics because I have just hundreds and over a hundred, two hundreds of freaking routine stacks plus I’ve taught myself how to make the alcoholic beverage or whatever I’m drinking seem like the most interesting in the world and make up a story about it or I can just kind of pick people off of the crowd and make up this whole life story about them and just have her cracking up. Does that make sense?

PETE: Yeah, yeah.

JASON: So really, unless there’s high level of rapport or the girl herself is very interested and very, I guess, socially aware that she can do that herself. A lot of the times, you’re going to have to do a lot of the talking and controlling the conversation, and steering it where you want it to go.

PETE: Okay, yeah, makes sense.

JASON: And that’s really what’s going to make the conversation flow is being able to… and then, also keep in mind if you’re talking about a… like, when was it? Like, two days ago I had this girl over and our conversation was starting to go in this pretty dark place so I immediately, I’m just like, anyway, so, anyway, what did you do today? I just cut and interrupt and I want to take it back to the happy fun vibe that was going, right? If it starts getting too intellectual, too in depth, sometimes that’s not attractive or that’s not a conversation that you want to be having before you hook up with the girl.

PETE: Okay.

JASON: Does that make sense?

PETE: Yeah, yeah, it does, for sure.

JASON: Jamie, do you have more on this?

JAMIE: Yeah, I just had one little thing. Having your objection handlers or your old nags, they’re such an incredible…and that is one element of your routine stack which now you get it, not just from a practical standpoint but having those nags and objection handlers ready to rock and roll, I can’t even tell you how much of a boost to your confidence is going to give you.

I mean, imagine, you get at this point, this is a type of sales, right? Socially. Imagine you were sales in a classic sense and you walk into a boardroom and you’re presenting in front of a hundred top decision makers but you know your product, you know it backwards and forwards, and you know it’s the best. Now, of course, in this case, your product is you but if I stay with the classic sales analogy and you’re representing the crème of the crème of what’s out there and you know who your competitors are and you know how to make them look like shit very quickly and someone challenges you, well, why should we do business with you versus your competitor, blah, blah, blah. If you’re really that guy, you almost have a big smile beaming on your face like, “Oh, so glad you asked.

Let me tell you why they are complete shit compared to us,” and everything you’re saying is true. It almost makes you excited to deal with people. Like when Eric or any of these guys use these various little sound bites like, “Oh, my God, are you starting already? I eat girls like you for breakfast but right now, I am very hungry.” You get excited to say stuff like this. You’re like, please try to challenge me. So, it’s not just to be able to handle what goes your way, it’s also going to give you an incredible amount of confidence knowing you have the tools to handle what comes your way. So, even if you don’t have to use, I just want you to know psychologically, it’s going to help you tremendously. Okay?

PETE:    Yeah, that makes sense. For sure.

JASON: Okay, you know what? Just to add to that, really, if you think about it, your objective is really just to pass the shit test and hook up with this girl and then, see where the relationship goes, right?

PETE: Yeah.

JASON: So, a lot of the frame I take too is I come in and I’m just like, in my head, I’m like, what’s really good…and I see her and I’m like, “Man, she’s hot.” In my head it’s like, you don’t even know what I’m going to do to you and I really like play off for that vibe the whole night which adds almost that assuming the sale.

PETE: Okay.

JASON: I mean, yeah, you’re assuming the sale, you’re like, no, this already happened. This is what’s going to happen and that just basically adds to your frame mixed with having the objection handlers in place.

PETE: Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I don’t have any questions anymore. Sorry.

JASON: I just want to add a quick note to everyone on the call. The more specific examples that you can bring in, it’s really the more we’re going to be able to really give you the feedback that’s going to take you to the next level, you know? Other than that, I think that was everyone. Is there anyone that I missed or maybe logged in later or isn’t on the attendees? Nope, okay. I’m going to…

PETE: Should I just search for a… where could I find… is there a spot where they’re all located or they’re just kind of everywhere and…

JAMIE: It’s neither one specific section but if you go to the VIP, they are sprinkled throughout and by the way, we’re doing some stuff technically, so the site will be back available we’ll just say by Tuesday, either tomorrow or Tuesday, but yeah, you can go to the website, they’re constantly using these like global sound bites.

PETE: Okay.

JAMIE: And now they really are is to get her off her pedestal and they’re constantly being used, so yeah, just go through VIP and you should have plenty to work with.

PETE: Okay. Fantastic. Thanks, Jamie.

JAMIE: You’re welcome.

JASON: Thank you for checking out today’s podcast. You can learn more about us at the attractiveyou.com, also, please make sure to post a review of today’s call on iTunes, thanks again.

PUA isn't the same: Its' evolved into something greater.

Now a days, It doesn't just cover the scope of improving your success with women. People learning these skills realized it gave them a statistical advantage in all walks of life, from women to lifestyle, business, sex life, relationships with friends, work, the list goes on. Find out how PUA will change your life by getting more serious and taking the necessary steps to get a real coach, get involved, and learn from the best. Having a legendary coach can jump you light years ahead of what books and videos can teach you.

""
1
THIS WEEK'S GIVEAWAY

Get our e-Book on How to Get Any Girl and our Premium Step by Step videos on how to open girls. ($180 Value, no credit card required)

Name
Phone #
Tell us about youYour struggles, strengths, questions, anything
0 /
Previous
Next

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *