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TAY 180 : How to push past limiting beliefs

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Today’s podcast we talked how to eliminate perceived barriers and limitations when it comes to approaching women. This was an incredible session that will really help you break though and get to the next level.

JAMIE: Yeah, last time we talked about, I know we talked about the, I think the Thinking Grow Rich book, whatever? I still have my list. I’m pretty sure I am…

ALBERT:  It’s the law of success. But yeah, it’s of the same author.

JAMIE: Yeah, it is. I have it written down somewhere. I just haven’t gone to that yet, but I saw that on my list. But yeah, it’s been a few weeks since you and I have spoken.

ALBERT:  So,  the last time we spoke there were already a couple of girls that I was like going out with on a regular basis so I didn’t know you gave me instead of the fifteen approaches a week, you told me to try for a make out a week.

JAMIE: Yeah, I mean it’s a great focus.

ALBERT:  So, I’ve been able to swing that but I’m still, and that’s just like me you know, well a couple of things I guess. I’m still having problems with like the cold approaches on the street during the day.  I can do that at bars but like I’ve really wanted to get to the point where I can go and sit and have the balls I guess to go up to a girl on the street and talk to her during the day.  It’s really hard for me to do and I’m sure a lot I guys have this problem, right? In a bar, in like a social environment, at night when people are there kind of to meet other people, it’s very different.

But, so, and kind of an effort to that I guess, I’ve been doing with work and like, I do some like volunteers stuff and s*** like that, and so in those situations if I’m already with people, if there’s, where like I was, especially if it’s work, I worked with a lot of partner companies and often if there is like a pretty girl who worked at the partner company I wouldn’t go out of my way to it’s like try to get her number anything like that or try to go out and so in an effort to try to I guess get myself to the point right and go up to random girls on the street I’ve been doing that and that’s worked out actually very well.

JAMIE: Okay.

ALBERT:  But I guess what I want talk about is the approach anxiety but and I know I feel like you’re just going to tell me just to do it.  But I know that I’ve got to get in the right mindset and you done… you did have a call recorded about that, but I didn’t really get the information I wanted. So, if you would, I frankly I don’t have a problem with once like I’m talking to somebody or you know, whether be a guy or a woman or whomever, I don’t really have a problem. It’s really just that first initial minute let’s call it, and I don’t, I haven’t got in to the point yet where I’m comfortable enough to do that.

JAMIE:            I hear you. Is there’s anything you want to add before I start talking?

ALBERT:  No, I just love your advice base on all of the ramblings that I just gave you.

JAMIE:            Okay, awesome! Look, I mean in a way, I’m going to tell you just to do it but in a way I’m also going to tell you, it’s not that easy, Albert, I’ll be honest  if any one tells you otherwise it’s really takes a true retraining of your brain.

ALBERT:  Yes. It’s a nerve wreck.

JAMIE:            You do, that it is. I was actually talking to a good friend of mine the other day about the idea, in other context the idea being courageous, right? You know, putting yourself out there. For example, if you watch a lot of motivational videos today, right? You talked about bring yourself out there, creating a business, you know, doing things that you know scare you, but once it’s referring to your or venture? I challenge anybody to tell me a differently or that what I believe is the most probably the most fear for hooking thing is social rejection or and you know things that put yourself in that context. I mean, dude, I’ve seen many military guys come to out front doors and these are guys who’ve been in the most dangerous situations in the world and they will not speak to a f***ing—they hesitate to speak to a girl with the possibility of rejections. So, just for anyone to tell you that just go do it and it’s as simple as that, it is, and it most certainly is not.

ALBERT:  Just interview really quickly the podcast, another podcast, the call that was recorded that you guys put on the website it was kind of like the guy that were talking to was going through how you know, he’s used to like speeches in front of hundreds of people and he no problem doing that, but as soon as the tables are turned it’s like when you got to go talk to one woman and then it’s like, you go like a deer in the head lights, right? So, it’s a totally different thing.

JAMIE:  It’s incredible but it’s simple and yet not simultaneously. But you ready I’ll start rambling to your ramblings.

ALBERT:  Yeah! I love that. Thank you!

JAMIE:            Okay! So, first thing, I mean, dude, you know, what I’m about to tell you is purely from stuffs that’s been taught to me as my own personal exploration. When the first things that you do, man, is there’s a reason why you’re not doing what you want to do. And you really have to kind of explore in your own head what that is, right? So, you’re going to come up with. Ryan, I hope you write this stuff down by the way.

RYAN: Yeah. I am

JAMIE:            When you explore why you’re not doing what you’re doing, you’re really going to come up with two categories. You’re going to come up with perceived blocks or limitations. Yeah. That’s really going to come up with a list of perceive limitations or blocks but when it comes down to it there really not real. You can either find a way to really address it or find a way to convince yourself it’s been addressed. But you have to find out what that stuff is and that will take a little exploring on your part, you know, like I know when I do that stuff. Let me give you some ideas here. I mean, again, I’ve been such student of learning for so many years and I take copious notes, man. So, one of the biggest reason why I take a lot of notes is when I have conversation like this I’m very familiar with what I went through. At times it’s very fresh in my mind and I’ll tell you when I—Huh?

ALBERT:  I was saying that’s very helpful.

JAMIE:            Yeah! I document this stuff like for example if you think about what I’ve told you guys to do for, you know, since you started this programs I used to say, fifteen sets a week, right? Fifteen sets a week, fifteen sets will give you that experience. I remember when I reemerged as single from a period of being in a relationship, you know, I do the same s*** I tell you guys to do because I know it works. But for the first couple of months I was struggling to be honest with you, Albert, you know. For some reason I just wasn’t doing what needed to be done. So I start exploring, what are these blocks or perceived limitations is keeping me from doing what I’m doing and when you go to that process, then you’ll start to realize what some of those things other things are and you’ll realize they either can be really address them or convince yourself they’ve been addressed. So let me see if I come over and get some example.

ALBERT:  May I interrupt you very quickly?

JAMIE:            Yeah.

ALBERT:  So part of the things that book recommend talks about and something that I’ve been trying to fix them myself as you did, you know. Most people don’t know what their fears actually are. So I’ve done some introspection on that and try to figure out what it is exactly it is and this is one of my big ones, right. So, when you talked about what the perceived fear is, I think it’s just fear of rejection straight out, and that’s why I don’t have fear of rejection in like business settings but just fear rejection one on one when it’s right to your face and it’s really about you as a person as opposed to something that you’re selling. I think is what my fear is. But anyway just…

JAMIE:            Wait, say it one more time because I was writing a note because I wanted to tell you something but repeat—

ALBERT:  It’s all right.

JAMIE: that one you said.

ALBERT:  So I’ve done introspection on what my fears are. I think a lot of people don’t actually know what they are afraid of in life and I think that they’ll ultimately fear hinders your ability to be successful. Given any venture, right? Don’t take risks because they’re afraid and so you don’t know what you’re afraid of, then you don’t know why you’re not taking risks. And this is the perfect example of that. So my point was, is that when I did that introspection this is what I came up with. This is something I’m not afraid of. I found what are my other fears are but this is one of the big ones and I wanted to confront it and that’s part of why I signed for your program because I don’t want to be afraid of this f***ing stupid is going up to a girl  right? So what my point was I think that you’re talking about, I totally understand the perceived blocks and limitations. To me it’s just and I’ve thought about it, I think it’s just being rejected face to face as opposed to be you know like what I was saying in business, when you get rejected they’re really not rejecting you per se, as much as they are and what you are selling or whatever this promoting, your etc.

JAMIE:            Absolutely, so you want me to start kind of giving you some, again some ramblings back?

ALBERT:  Yes, please sir.

JAMIE:            So when I, some of the stuff I went through when I went through this stuff and again you take time off from pick-up, you’ll realize it takes a little bit too kind of really get back into it again. So anyway, one of the things I realized, fear of limitation because I had this belief that somehow I could do something to motivate myself or create courage and for some reason I wasn’t feeling the courage, I wasn’t feeling a drive or enthusiasm or I was getting myself excuses and I was like, who is this here? I should feel more courageous. I should just do it, right? I should feel the motivation to do these things and then I start exploring, what can I do to increase motivations? So I’m telling you right now that was a perceive limitation or block. I felt like I didn’t had the motivation I felt like I need this somehow find away to motivate myself. The reason—at that time, the reason I wasn’t opening, one of my conclusions I came up with was I didn’t have enough motivation, are you following me?

ALBERT:  Yes.

JAMIE: You and me? Okay, awesome. So when I did that I sort of explaining on you, okay. I can either crush that limitation or address it and make me feel like it is been addressed. And there are a lot of things that I came up with or more accurately, Albert, I reminded myself that feeling fear, like feeling approaching anxiety is completely normal. Like a lot of people tell you that there’s something wrong with it. You shouldn’t feel approach anxiety. But you know I remembered or reminded myself and really emphasized the idea of feeling good when you feel afraid. The idea of somehow overcoming the fear with the feeling that she’s also texting it out and I’m going to go from fear to courage? That’s b*** S***. Know that the most courageous people in the world don’t try and change the fear instead they danced with it.

They realized, you know what, I’m not going to feel good about this but guess what? I don’t need to feel good about something to do it. I can still choose to do it anyway. And when I remembered this, going through all my notes and really kind of revamping myself backup again. It made me feel good about that because I realize I was looking for felling that just wasn’t realistic. I almost forgot thinking I should feel automatically courageous in like some kind of bulletproof kind of mentality. It’s not nobody feels like, the most courageous people don’t feel like that. Instead they just accept the fear, and they feel. Anyway, one of our old, you know founders had a great phrase which is actually pretty awesome, and it’s really worth writing this one down, because if you write it down you’ll remember. They’ll k make you understand you don’t look for feeling that’s really not realistic. He said that I still feel approach anxiety even to this day. The difference is I have become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

So in other words, I thought I should feel a certain way which was not really realistic. There’s a great video actually, actually I don’t think great, but it’s, it hit  me in a different way recently, there is this video by this lady name, Mel Robbins, and she talks about how motivation is b*** s***, and it sound I think that the video is that great per se, but there is some truth there. And you know it’s like when you’re feeling fearful you can’t, it’s, you really when you look at it, you really are not also motivating yourself to do it. Or you’re really doing is you’re almost just ignoring the fear and you’re saying, you know what? I’m just going to embrace this, and accept it for what it is, and I’m just going to do it anyway. So, it’s not like you’re motivated to do the things that scares you, instead you just accept the fear, you danced with it as they say. So that was one of the first thing I address  remembering that you that, that to have a feeling or some feeling of courage you know that nobody has, when they’re dealing a few provoking situation, it’s okay to just be like that and I realized it’s necessarily ever going to change. Like for example, this week I’ve probably were you’re talking about like they gain approaches when I’d probably done at least ten? You know, I did two, I did three in the grocery store within 30 minutes. Are you following me?

ALBERT:  Yeah!

JAMIE: It’s not that I didn’t feel fear of some level, I actually accepted there’s a distinct moment, Albert, where your feel that fear, you think about, oh, my god, I’m going to go, should I approach her? And also when you think about there’s this distinct moment where your feel that fear. Almost feels like a ball of energy. What I started doing is I felt it and I just release it like a breath. Just like you know just f***ing do it. So, notice I’m not telling you that didn’t exist, I’m not telling you can also you know, recreate into courage I’m just telling you I just accept it and I blow it out like a, like just, release some energy, and I just do it anyway.

ALBERT:  I got it. That’s extremely helpful because I was going into it with the expectations that, so being honest with you that you guys are in a level where you won’t feel that anymore.

JAMIE: Yes. But nobody’s like that.

ALBERT:  Yeah! I knowing that it’s always going to be there, I guess it’s really helpful.

JAMIE: It’s very, dude. I’m telling you, write down, I’ll give you a great quote from Eric too. Hopefully, you work down on that one. That’s from one of our top coaches

ALBERT:  Yeah, I’m writing everything down.

JAMIE: Let me give you another one too. This is from, Eric. I haven’t seen him now. Again these are things I review like almost daily, because it really… do you meditate? I’ve heard you asked people about this, Albert.

ALBERT:  Yes. I do.

JAMIE: Okay! I know you’ve heard this before, meditation in a way I heard it I think this is really poetic, it’s essentially like reprogramming yourself for the day. So, in other words after you’re done with your meditation, you step back into your body it’s like, you’ve been reprogram for the day. Make sense?

ALBERT:  Yeah. I had that experience. I had that experience.

JAMIE: Awesome! Allow these mantras that I read and review, They’re really like my own version of active meditation, where every day I take the time to reprogram myself to re-remind myself of what is true and what’s going to empower me. So this is something I read almost every day, man.  Because it’s great to know that people, again these is directly from Eric, so let that, Eric is pretty much indisputably number one in this field. So this is Eric’s own quote. I’m sure you can appreciate it if the best in the world feels like this for you to think that you’re going to be beyond him is, I’m not saying you can’t do it by the way. I’m just saying it’s okay if you can’t.

ALBERT:  Patience, right?

JAMIE: What’s that?

ALBERT:  I said temper. I got to temper my expectations, right.

JAMIE: Yeah, it’s like one of the biggest pains in the world are people striving for something that’s not attainable. Right?

ALBERT:  Yep..

JAMIE: For you to think you’re going to all send and x off some innate human fear you know, that is again that is innately you’re going to say you’re just kind of somewhat exit? It’s really not realistic, man.

ALBERT:  Sure.

JAMIE: So pain is created by trying to strive for something that’s really not attainable. Okay, so here’s from Eric. You ready for this? You are go—this is from the top guy in the world. You are going to be afraid. Write that down.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: But for you to win, you have to be able to cope, to accept, but did not embrace the adrenalin release that would take place. Notice he is not telling you to ignore it or try to overcome it, he was just telling you to just accept it and if not just embrace it. This is what it is. Following me?  I’ll go further the secret is to convey confidence when you are in that adrenalin induced state by speaking slowly, with pauses, succinctly giving the illusion of confidence.

ALBERT:  Okay.

JAMIE: Okay so now I’ll give you another one. Now another thing, another one I’ve dealt with, just give me a bunch of these, you got to explore your own mind. You got to ask yourself honestly that what is it that’s creating my fear. What kept me from speaking to that girl? Now ask yourself powerful questions to come up with powerful answers. So another one—

ALBERT:  This is exactly, that sentence that quote that you just read me is exactly my experience with giving speeches. Like I go through this every time. Like I know the exact feeling of being you know, I can feel myself start getting very anxious and then the adrenalin rush and then I kind of like, it’s almost like when you are meditating, you kind of forced the energy up into your head and then turn it into a [00:19:00] sometimes that exact experience that happens to me like a few times a week. Same time I got to deal with women.

JAMIE:            Yeah, by the way, aside from that, I have to tell you you’re one of the more enjoyable people that I worked with. I feel like you had a nice collaboration with the mix. You talked about interesting things and you’re also exploring a lot of these things just from different angles to some degree, but, I’m going to see a lot of really good, a lot of good parallels. You know one of my epiphanies for the week, man? This is on an overall personal development level. But one of my biggest epiphanies is, you know a lot of people look for life to be easy. Oh, you know I really want to make some money; It should be easy to make money. Ah, I really want to attract woman. She’ll be so much easier. How can I make it easier? You know what? You shouldn’t actually wanted to be like that because if everything is so easy, if it really was that easy to meet women, if it’s really that easy to make money, then you don’t have to be challenged, well you wouldn’t appreciated it.

ALBERT:  Right.

JAMIE: So irony is because it’s challenging that’s what makes life satisfying and filling because f*** yeah I had a great week. I did this, this, and this. I met this girl, I went on this date I, whatever. So it’s actually, and actually enough a weird way it serves you though this is not so easy. It makes life a lot more satisfying. And you know again it’s these types of things like really keep you going. So the approach anxiety never disappears, ever. And again I’m telling you from not just my perspective but I know the best guys in the world, the number one guys, man, and nobody has ever tried to even pretended to tell me that they are fearless.

ALBERT:  Yup.

JAMIE: Instead they just simply find mechanisms to embrace it or just allow it. Allow is a great word too.

ALBERT:   Yup.

JAMIE: Okay? So, another one I came up with when I was exploring just give ideas here. Then I got really anxious because I was approaching like you know maybe three sets or four sets and I was like a you know like this is a value this is during the day not at night. During the day it’s little you know and then again it depends on the context, there was this group of four walking on the street, that’s all little crazy thing to do to be honest with you. A girl by herself that’s crazy too and very few people even do that, that’s not a problem, but a group of four walking down the street, in business suits. One girl, I mean in the middle of the day, eleven o’clock, to hey, guys, real quick. Let me get you know, come on. That’s a little nut, to be honest.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: I’m not saying I didn’t do it, I’m not saying I haven’t done it, but you know my point is, is it you know for while is getting our old create like this, So why am I not opening up this groups during the day? Again this are almost crazy expectation and I’m like you know I’m like… let’s just start with single sets, let’s just like rather than create this anxiety myself I should be approaching every girl I see, right? I should approach hot girl I see, only let’s just f***ing kind of just calm down a little bit let’s not feel so anxious were we needed to do all the time and let just kind of put it where, you know, I’m getting myself something a good next step for myself to get, you know, to do things. It’s like, I’m just going to really focus on approaching single sets during the day. You understand?

That’s what I start feeling. So there’s one single set by herself is a lot easier because you don’t have to entertain a group. But two, she’s going to be herself. A lot of tension when you open up a group. You’re not just meeting the girl, you’re also meeting, you know, you’re  also meeting the girl trying to match up to the perceived image of her friend has of her.

ALBERT:  Right.

JAMIE:            Like the girl who’s hot will think she’s hot s*** and tries to give that image to her friends by herself. She might be a total sweetheart, you know. So it’s like you’re dealing with a real person there. So it’s a start to an end. Also the other benefit to that again—again these are things I’m just telling you like I start asking myself questions, why am I not doing this? What’s the fear here? What’s the limiting belief? And I just start addressing them one by one. And it took some time to be honest. Probably took about a good month of very little execution before I really made a head way to doing what I need to do. And I was clearly addressing those again, those limitations are perceived barriers one by one.

ALBERT:  Mm-hm.

JAMIE: So, but the classic ones are, oh, why am I not opening her, right? I should be fear, I should be fearless. That’s b*** s***! That’s not a real thing. Another one you might want to remember too, is also a good thing and I hope you do it, oh, damn I, what if I fail here? Well, you’re going to fail eventually. Remind yourself, you’re failing is inevitable.

ALBERT:  Actually immediately, right?

JAMIE: What’s that?

ALBERT:  Eventually, I feel like you’re going to fail me immediately but you got to be okay with that, right?

JAMIE:            Well, you might, you might not. But the main thing for you, remember, is you will fail eventually, it’s inevitable.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: You’re eventually open up a girl that either is in the terrible emotional state or logistically, is not in a good place for you to talk to her.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: Dude, I open up on another girl on the street last night. Nah! I mean, two nights ago? Mill Street, walking by with a striking blue dress? And I opened up on her, you know, like one of my classic openers, well, hey, you’re just totally distracted at me. I just had to come over and say hello. She is, she, I thought what she said, it wasn’t good, Albert. She is a—it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good. She was just not responsive to me but I was calm. I just kept kind of walking with her, staying a little front of her, and the I just stepped forward, you know, I’m pretty, I’m pretty kind of what Eric just said, you just talk slowly and I just took my time and I focused on what I’m doing. Not on how I’m being perceived and that’s another thing too, I also realized I need to change my focus. I need to stop worrying about what they’re thinking. I remembered again, I, you know, even if I took a month off or two years off, I can get myself back at the speed pretty quickly because again, I have taken, I had done a very good job at journaling, which by the way if anyone is listening to this call, journalism is one of the most powerful tools, because it’s almost a way of kind of its like a bookmark. If you take really good notes of where you left off it’s easy to resume that. So I know, I have taken really good notes over the years, from the lessons I’ve learned. The epiphanies I’ve had. The best lessons. It just takes a little bit time to review that stuff. So anyway, long story short, this girl didn’t respond very favorably at first. And I just stepped forward very calmly, pausing, enunciating, taking my time and then I noticed something, Albert, she was crying. You get it?

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: So I opened up the [inaudible] and just had a big fucking dramatic blow out. Doesn’t matter how good I am. The girl is just not in a good emotional state so my point is failure is inevitable, but I challenge you to read your final failure is, I mean, I say failure is just not f***ing doing of anything. And you know, that’s not a failure as far as I’m concerned, that just comes from the territory. You’re eventually going to open up somebody who is married. You’re eventually—and that doesn’t mean any, dude, I’ve opened up another girl the other day during the band, and she f***ing wants to take me for a walk for like 30 minutes, just walking and talking. But the girl is married. I’m not going to go anywhere with it but I actually met a really nice person and she might actually make friends with, right?

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: So you are going to open up women though married. You are going to open up women that had just had really terrible day or like an emotional breakdown. So, if you, should I call that failure or should I just say, that’s just part of the numbers game to some degree. So you are going to fail and remembering that is incredibly beneficial to you, because it takes away that crazy, egotistical feeling that you should be perfect. Again these are…

ALBERT:  So I… It just reminded me of something that I have had issues with. So when the, frequently when I see an attractive girl, look, I kind of I don’t know if this happens to you, when I’m walking around I’m always doing something, I’m always like on my way somewhere and I don’t… frequently it will happen is I’ll see somebody attractive that I would like to talk to, but I’m kind of surprised by it and I feel like I need to be in the right mindset to go up and say hello to somebody. So when you’re giving me these examples, to me at least it’s not to be mistaken, it sounds like you’re already going out with the purpose of doing this, right? Is there a way that you found that you can transition or like I guess flip the switch so to speak where you’re walking around doing your own thing and then the situation strikes and you’re able to flip that switch quickly so that you’re in the I’ve got to talk to this girl mode as opposed to you know deep in my own thoughts going about my day mode.

JAMIE: I think you’re going to like this answer in a way. Well in a way you’re going to like it and a way you’re not going to like it. The reason why you’ll like my answer is because it’s going to help you re-align any kind of b*** s*** expectation you have of yourself.

ALBERT:  Okay.

JAMIE: You’ve got to see where this is going. I have not.  Found that way yet Albert. I do not know how to do that.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: And I don’t feel bad about that, let me tell you why. The top speakers in the world, you’re a speaker. You do a lot of talks. I think it would be valuable for you to know if you didn’t know these already. The top guys in the world when they speak in front of an audience, they don’t just go up there and start f***ing talking away. They have a warm up process, they might I mean like Tony Robbins is a great example, dude. You can actually watch him online. Before he goes on, speaks in front of five thousand people, by ten minutes his doing dance moves, he’s shouting, he’s doing f***ing some nutty stuff, dude. Like he’s jumping on a trampoline, you know he understands it takes time to get the neurons firing. He understands that there is a warm up process that is critical to him being able to engage people the right way. So here’s my question for you. If the number one, or at least arguably the number one guy in the world recognizes how important it is to have a warm up process before engaging others to get the neurons firing, if the number one guy recognizes that, why would it be any different for you or I?

ALBERT:  Well, right.  So the question is I guess do you not, if you’re not in that mindset. You’ve just let the opportunity to pass by.

JAMIE: You know what? It’s not that I want to let the opportunity pass by, but I’m okay if it does. And I use.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: That just likes a trigger, so okay. Let’s get ourselves a little warmed up here. Let’s allow myself, and by the way honesty is one too. It’s going to be valuable for people in the call here. You want in general put yourself in a state of abundance. You don’t want to be in a state where you just feel like lacking scarcity. So here’s my point. If you live in some f***ing little town, where you might run across one hot girl every two weeks, that is a terrible state to be in. So if you do—that’s going to create a problem where it’s like, f***, I missed my one opportunity now I got to wait another two weeks, that’s terrible. If that is your—that might not be your situation I don’t think it is where you live. Hopefully.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: Yeah, I know. But for other people who are listening to this. If that’s where you are, that’s a problem. You need to f***ing move, and get out of there. See, with Ryan right now, that does happen to me, Albert. I absolutely will be in situation almost daily, because I’m not perfect, and I’m only a human being. I need a warm up process or whatever. Again I have not figured out that way and neither is Tony-fucking Robbins. So, when I’m out and about and if I’m not in the good state yet, or not where I needed to be, needs to be getting my day. I see a really cute girl and I just didn’t do it because I’m just not there yet. I just allow… I just accept it, you know what? I’m just going to allow her to be the trigger to get myself excited by the day. I’m okay to let it go.

ALBERT:  And then…

JAMIE: I don’t let too many more go by, but I allow that to be kind almost the trigger to say okay. Let’s get things rolling here.

ALBERT:  So what, in addition to that, what else you do to put yourself into that mindset? It sounds like you used mantra’s which I also do.

JAMIE: Yeah, mantras are very powerful. Mantra’s are affirmations that are incredible. The secret though is, again a lot of people feel like they hate on the affirmations and mantras. The secret is you have to be congruent with it. If you’re not congruent with it, well it’s not going to work for you. But I’ve been doing this for years, man. I mean you know I’ve been coaching way beyond pick up. So I’ve been collecting this for a long time and I have a lot that I am fully congruent with. I mean if I went through some of the mantras or almost like full pages I’d memorize. That I’ll over sighted on a daily basis. You’ve be like, wow! But that’s because I’m really serious about this.

ALBERT:  I got.

JAMIE: Huh?

ALBERT:  I’ve got mine. You’ve got to read that book because it talks about why those work, and how your subconscious works.

JAMIE: I promise you, I’ll check it out. I wrote down this, yeah some stuff going on, good stuff but I’m… I’ll get to that.

ALBERT:  Got to talk too. I’m sure people if not more busy than I am so you know..

JAMIE: Maybe, maybe not, I don’t know but my point is that I’ve collected this and I found the ones that really work for me to get like really in a powerful, powerful state. So I go to the mantra’s and affirmations that I really believe that would resonate in me.

ALBERT:  Okay.

JAMIE: These are the ones I go through. Based on my current process takes me about an hour. I do it every day first thing in the morning. I do before anyone calls me. I don’t take any text messages, I don’t f***in looking at the emails, I don’t do anything until I’m done. And by the way, this also includes physical activity too, I’d go jogging too. This is important one as well, are you ready for this one?

I know you’ve heard this one, Albert. Did you know that when you’re feeling fearful that is in direct relation to your physiology? Fear and physiology are directly related. Did you know that?

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: You did?

ALBERT:  Yes. I did.

JAMIE: Awesome! Beautiful! So if you’re feeling fearful, f***ing stand up strong, stand up tall. Pull your body in a good state. Go f***ing running. Do something to get endorphins going but all the times the reason why someone may be feeling fearful that is in direct relation to other how they’re holding their body. So that’s another one I went through as well. But so, I have process where I’ll get myself in a good physical state. I’ll go to my mantras, my affirmations. I will not allow anyone to interrupt this first part of my day. I’ll do it for maybe about an hour.  And then I’m pretty primed up and my hour you know I go through my mantras, I’ll also review my routine snap. And one thing I do also which I also found very helpful when I was addressing the thing that you’re talking about originally, I also found were allowed, mental rehearsal. To be a powerful tool like put myself in the state. As it will sometimes for whatever reason, maybe I’m not quite comfortable yet with opening that girl, but rather than feel some kind of disappointment or chastise myself for what I didn’t do, in the beginning I’m going to allow myself just do mental rehearsal. If I did do it, what would I say to her?

ALBERT:  Right.

JAMIE: What do I think she might say back at me? And almost do like a little mental role play back and forth. I will allow myself to do that into, just to get things going. I will find ways so I can feel successful.

ALBERT:  Okay.

JAMIE: That’s another tool that I start to incorporate. This is actually a very cool fact by the way. Or it’s a fact as far as I understand it. Your brain cannot tell the difference between what’s going on in here in your brain versus what’s going out there in the real world. So you actually do mental rehearsal can be actually just as powerful as the real thing potentially.

ALBERT:  So I got to so very much on board with everything that you just said and I very much appreciate it. But a couple of recommendations that I’d think you’d really like.

JAMIE: Okay.

ALBERT:  One, you know who Wimhof is? Have you ever heard that name before?

JAMIE: Wimhof? No I’ve not. How do you spell that?

ALBERT:  W I M H O F.

JAMIE: W I M H I F.

ALBERT:  H O F.

JAMIE: Oh, H O F. Okay.

ALBERT:  So he is a Scandinavian guy but he basically came up with a way to, he believes to communicate with your body on a cellular level by breathing one—deep breathing exercises one and then two cold water exposure. So I’ve been a big fan. I don’t know if you do cold showers in the morning but do research on that. That’s a way—

JAMIE: I’ve heard about that. It’s an interesting but okay, go on.

ALBERT:  I do ice baths but those part of the—like I’m also very focused on my health so I do ice baths a couple times a week which suck but they like it feel unbelievable afterwards. Talk about releasing endorphins so highly recommend on trying that but the Wimhof cold showers and breathing exercises, if you add that to your morning routine, it would take like five extra minutes and I guarantee you’d loved it, it’s right up your palate.

JAMIE: Yeah. Let me write that down real quick. I will check on that. I’ve heard a lot about the cold shower things that sounds interesting let me try to write this down.

ALBERT:  The cold showers basically put your body at the state that were talking about, right? Is a state where you’re jacking up your, all of your like fight or flight hormones like cortisol, and the cold shower does the same thing in a controlled environment and just gets you feeling amazing for the entire course of the day.

JAMIE: You do this first thing in the morning?

ALBERT:  Yeah. In the first, I’d imagine it’s probably like cold approaches you know. The first week is not fun and then you, its—

JAMIE: That’s great.

ALBERT:  You’ll feel really awesome. Even this morning, like even this morning when I do it like it’s still uncomfortable but its I think it’s like what you’re talking about where you accept the fear or you dance with the fear and you just know that it is coming so you submit yourself to it. So it’s very much aligned with everything you’ve talked about today.

JAMIE: That seems really interesting. I’m very curious about that. Oh, I want to tell you this one, too. Actually this is why I love these call, learn from you guys, too. Like I mean you know I’d like to think that I’m helping the facilitate just kind of a collaborative effort overall. And one last, last call we had earlier in the day, this guy recommended this, one of the callers recommend this book, it was called… it sounded awesome. Let me see if I can find it real quick. I wrote it down.

ALBERT:  What’s up? And that Wimhof guy climbed Everest with no clothes, in his shorts.

JAMIE: That’s kind of a nut job. Okay that’s interesting though.

ALBERT:  He believes that you, like you can reprogram your body so that you’ll never get sick again. And so you could deal with extremes and not have any issues at all. So really cool stuff. What was I going to say? Actually, I’ve got, sorry. It’s morning here so I got to run. But if you find the name of that book would you please send it to me. I’d love to check it out.

JAMIE: Yeah. Absolutely! Just give me that two sec—let me check here and see really quick but otherwise I’ll let you go. D***. All right. If I find it I’ll let you know. I have it or do me, do me this favor, Albert. You see if you don’t mind, just in case I don’t see it anywhere—can you just email me and say, hey, did you find that book yet?

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: I know it was about, it was written by this guy did—what did he do? My god, just say please [inaudible] that one of the other callers mentioned. And hopefully—

ALBERT:  Okay.

JAMIE: It will help trigger, and yeah. I’ll try and find it. But anyway, great, great chat, man. Hey thanks for the feedback. That’s cool. All about that Wimhof guy, and I will take a second look on his cold showers because I’ve definitely read about the benefits about that before. I just haven’t actually done it.

ALBERT:  Yeah.

JAMIE: But I’m a little bit open to it, so maybe I’ll check that out, so. Hey, man have a great week and we’ll talk soon, okay.

ALBERT:  I appreciate it. Have a good day.

JAMIE: You too, man.

 

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