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TAM 151 : Committed Relationships and PUA

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Today’s podcast we talked about continue your progress even if you are in a committed relationship. One of our most recent clients found himself in a situation where only 2 months after the bootcamp he found himself a great girl who he wanted to be with. So how can he maintain a monogamous relationship, yet continue to explore the power of what Venusian Arts offers. Our second caller had a relatively similar situation yet was aware that it might be time to move on. Additionally we discussed the proper way to bridge to a day 2 and get her phone number. Lastly we talked about some various personal development related topics.

 

JOHN: Yeah, I basically yeah have gotten a little comfortable because I got into this relationship but I don’t want to stop my learning and so you know I guess about going back out there. I was going out with Gabe and you know he’s basically gotten busy with work and stuff. So, he is kind of out of the picture, so now I’m without a wing man. So, the question you know like, I guess finding the time in between the relationship to go out at night, go out by myself now maybe a couple of friends to go out with. But you know it, there a lot of my friends are either married or in some relationships themselves. So that kind of what I’m struggling with right now and today I went to the Apple store and I basically, there were two girls who were right next to me and I was like “Ok, this is perfect. This is a good opportunity to you know get back in and just practice a little bit” You know, nothing serious just trying to be social and it was really hard. I mean it’s amazing how quickly you know, you, I mean you really do have to keep exercising that muscle because I just forward the first part of the conversation just kind of stumbled through stuff and it was like “Man what happened to me” you know, I used to be a lot better than this.

JAMIE: Ok. Is it ok if I bring up some talking points here?

JOHN: Absolutely.

JAMIE: So, for anyone listening here. John did boot camp with us I guess a few months ago, I mean four or five months ago. He was successful enough that all sudden he went from you know what he had which you know obviously he wanted to work on all suddenly he had a numerous number, many women that he was dating and then those numerous women he was dating. He decided to spend a one, time with more of an exclusive basis. So now the problem for John is like his progress is on hold and you know, I’ve been through the same, I’ve been through the same thing again man, I mean it’s just not worth it for anybody.

You know regardless your long term you know even if you want to be in a monogamous relationship you can still practice and just keep it to a certain level. No one says you must start making out or you are bringing woman home. You can nothing is stopping you from making new friends you know balancing them for a cup of coffee, you know as a, in a social way to get drinks somewhere else, it doesn’t have to be any more than that. But you still should want to practice really, getting very personal people, very fast where they are like “Wow this guy is awesome.” and I’m telling you it’s just not worth you know letting that go.

As you’re seeing yourself and I have experienced myself, you know these are like, you are like training like the brain muscles and they will atrophy very quickly if you are not with it. So, here’s a few questions here, you still have your routine stack, like hypothetically man if you became single today. Do you have that kind of bookmark of where you left off?

JOHN: I do. I have good detailed notes and I still must send you kind of the definitive version of my routine stack. But I did write you know a decent amount, it’s almost done. So, I’d like to submit to you soon.

JAMIE: Ok good. So, for everyone listening here, that routine stack, we do a routine stack class with our full program, not just at boot camp. Routine stack and Mike is going to be, where I’m going to talk him, Mike is going to be doing shortly that is like, it’s amazing how many companies out there don’t do that. Because that is essentially your bookmark, where you took some time off, you should be able to come back to your routine stack or you can call the sales script and say “Ok, here’s where I left off with my sales pitch”. So, it’s a way for you to kind of resume where you left off and that one of the greatest things about our program. You really should never ever have to start at zero, you might get a little rusty and the muscles you know might of atrophy where you need to kind of start to work out again but maybe, I found in my experience when I’ve you know… And I’m giving the benefit of my experience here man.

So, whenever that happened to me takes a few months to kind of get back in the swing of the things. So, but that the beauty of that so if I can have that, it’s awesome.

So, the first thing for you to do, is to start setting goals. You don’t have to worry about how you are going to get them yet and I think with Mike we are going to talk about some ways to do that in a minute. But at least is a starting point, set a goal man. Say “Hey you know what, let’s get on in here. I want to open up a minimum of 15 sets a week.” That’s the first you do, because the goal is like that the thing for you to say you know hold yourself to on a weekly basis and bottom line you get your goals done.

See if you at least had set a goal, first thing that was going to happen is you either are going to make your goal or you are not. If you don’t make it you say “Ok, wants to go on here. What do I need to do” So in your situation for example you might start working through stuff like “ok, I don’t have a wing anymore? Probably reason I didn’t get done what I needed to get done was because I don’t have a wing and I’m just not going out at night.” Ok, that fine.

So, what’s another way to get my goal done maybe I’ll do some more happy hours, maybe I’ll start owing out for lunch more, maybe I’ll start doing more sets during the days like Starbucks or soothing. You start to break down why you are not meeting your goals, the first thing you need to do man is you need to set a goal and I always tell people. I mean I told you this too “15 minimal a week is a great starting point” So that where I’d resume if I were you, set that goal and you know over the next week see if you met it, if you don’t then you start, then out can start kind of going through it and say “Ok, I didn’t meet it. What, what are my, what are bullshit excuses that I need to address.” does that make sense?

JOHN: Yeah totally, I totally agree too. That’s great.

JAMIE: So, the first things I want to ask you is this, what do you think you can commit to? Do you think 15 sets for the next seven days and ongoing? Do you think that something that is realistic that you could commit to?

JOHN: Yeah absolutely, I think I should be a blah to get like two, at least two nights out of the week on my own or with like a roommate or a friend or something. So yeah, I mean if I at a happy hour or something, I should be able to at least seven.

JAMIE: Yeah, I mean I don’t, you know however you get it done, you get it done. But the first step is to have a goal in mind and then just see if you meet it or not, if you don’t meet it, then you adjust things.
JOHN: That’s great, ok. Yeah, I mean I’m glad we are having this conversation. Because I’d just, I was kicking myself the other day for like basically kind of getting back in a coast mode you know, because, because I was in a relationship.

JAMIE:  It’s just not worth it man and I’m going to remind you something I know Jason told you. If I know you are convinced but I’m just going to over f***ing sell it because why not. Remember this type of person of element is probably, I would argue to say is probably the most powerful type of personal development you can get yourself involved in and the reason is because you are not just reading about it man, you are doing it. So, every time you do it by repetition you are slowly but surely crafting yourself to be that man that ultimate wanted to be. So, whether you’re in a relationship or not it’s irrelevant, you should still want to keep pushing yourself in a certain direction and again that certain direction just like in a real gym you got do your repetitions. So, these are the repetitions to further push yourself in the directions you ultimately want to go, that is an incredible reason to keep things forward.

If you don’t do the work everything stops man. But you can’t continue your progress without going through the motions; it’s just the way it goes.

MIKE: Jamie, Mike here. Just wanted to expand on what John was saying. So, I’m in a similar situation I guess one of the reasons that I haven’t really practiced whatever since our class, is because one I’ve been travelling but still as you said that no excuse. Because I had ample opportunity during that day, the second one I guess the reason my concern I guess or hesitation would be for my side is that I’m on my own, again I’m in a relationship right. So, during the day I’m on my own and not having a wing is hard to just be on my own and it takes a lot of effort and even though this is something that I practice in the class. I’ve still find it difficult to do especially without knowing there’s nobody there to bail me out.

JAMIE: Right.

MIKE: Kind of thinking, yesterday I was working from, from the beach at a coffee shop over there and they were plenty of opportunities for me to engage with others at the coffee shop and or walk up on to the beach and start a conversation there, as Jason had given some ideas during our session. But I didn’t do that again for that reason. The only practice I had was in that class then I haven’t practiced since and it’s on my own whether its daytime or night time. I’m relatively new to San Diego so I don’t know many people here. So, it’s one of those things where you know, how do I get over that, that aspect of things.

 

JAMIE: Got you. So, ok let’s talk about. You have a few things that I think are going to be relevant to you know getting, giving you a little bit of a boost here. First one is the same thing that you know just, you know John you have to have a goal. So, the question I’m going to ask you the same thing, what would be the number? What would be a goal that from now on a weekly basis? No excuses, you could commit to and strive for. I’ll talk to you about how to get that done, but what number sounds realistic to you?

MIKE: 15 is good, I can look at as two a day. It’s a safe number a little enough number a day for me to do.

JAMIE: Ok, good. Now so, so the first thing that will happen is like this you know and remember this is a progression, so today you know, today is Wednesday. So, by a week from today you should have 15 done keep track. Not just, and an effective way to do this is do it on a form. Every time you go out and do stuff right, you post in the form write about what you got done, what the experience was. So that, what is going to kind of help you keep track, two it’s going to help you reflect and really assimilate what you learn but for the purposes of this conversation. The main thing I’m trying to get you to, is hoping you to kind of know every time you, you get some sets in right.

So, let’s just say at the end of the week on Wednesday next week same thing, you only got 10 done and you are like “Ok, what am I missing here. Why am I not getting this done” and that something that you and I can continue to kind of pooch you forward on, but that the first step? First step you got to have a goal. So we have that now. Awesome!

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: Now the next thing I want to bring to your attention is, its saying you are busy is never going to be ok, it’s an excuse.

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: Like its say you know, you will always be going to have that. Dude I’ve people a lot busier then you, a lot busier than me and they can get their shit done. So, it’s always an excuse. Now the truth is being that, there is a great to kind of look at your life, its, I think the acronym is NET “No Extra Time”. So, the idea is that you find things you are doing anyway that don’t take, for example you are going to have lunch, right?

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: So, one of the things you can do is that every week is make sure at least maybe two or three times a week you go out for lunch even if by yourself. And guess what, you sit at the bar. You must eat anyway man, so why not sit at the bar a place you know is kind of little happening during, during lunch time that people like to go. Probably just sit at the bar and start some conversations with some people you are not, it doesn’t require any more time or it doesn’t require anything extra beyond what you do anyway. Makes sense?

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: So, you start to find activities of things you want to do and you just, instead of just doing them mindlessly like “Alright you know I got to have lunch anyway. I’m going to have lunch here because I know there will be kind of social scene and I’ll open at least one or two sets while I’m there”. Same thing as getting your cup of coffee in the morning, it’s just, a lot of this comes down to an awareness “Hey, I’m going to grab a cup of coffee, you know what while I’m there, I’m going to see if there’s someone I can speak to” and you are writing, this stuff down by the way right, what I’m telling you? Because I want you to remember it.

MIKE:  Yeah.

JAMIE: It will help you.

MIKE: Alright, ok I’m taking electronic you know so yeah.

JAMIE: Yeah, yeah that ok. But I really want you to write down because it will really make sure you don’t forget it.

MIKE: Ok. Albright so…

JAMIE: So, a lot of {INAUDIBLE} I’ll just finish up one thought. So, a lot of this comes out of awareness right. So, in the future you are going to get coffee anyway but now you are going to be aware your like “Hey I’m going there anyway. I got to get my triple bla bla bla latte. You know what I’m going to look for one girl that I can open up.” Now here’s the trick or one of the tricks to help you meet your goal. One of the thing is your mind so going to fuck with you sometimes, it’s like “Oh she is not cute enough or I’m not ready or bla bla bla” You know what if you got to get your numbers in, you get your numbers in, if its, Tuesday next week and you have already done 12 sets and you go to Starbucks and see one girl that is kind of cute but not great just fucking do it.

She is still a human being and you never know, sometimes you speak a bit and then you become very, very attracted once you start talking and just have a great personality. But the point is I don’t want you to allow your mind to make excuses and say, “oh she’s not really that cute.” You get your numbers in, one way or the other. You know so if some of your sets are eight and some are seven’s and some are five so be it at least in the beginning.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: Most importantly is that you reach your goal.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: Makes sense?

MIKE: Yeah, so, another thing I had struggled with is that I’ve not taken that routine stack class yet and so I don’t have any other material then what I have memorized in boot camp.

JAMIE: Sure.

MIKE: So, it’s, it’s hard for me to picture myself having a continuous conversation or a long conversation going because I won’t have things to talk about.

JAMIE: Well let’s talk about it a little bit. I’ll give you kind of like a little bit of a sneak peek into that, that will give you what you need. So here for example, so I have this kind of, I kind of have this technique that they way and I did it with you guys actually. Do you remember I did this in person with you guys several times and I and remember how I moved the group around to, I moved the group around not really looking around the room but I moved the group around to the group that I wanted to speak to? Remember how I would do that with you guys?

MIKE: Yes.

JAMIE: So, I call that like Pivot and Attack right. I’m walking with you guys I’m talking I’m not looking around the room but I know where the group is that I want to speak to and then I magically stop over by the group I want to speak to and continue the conversation to you and then when appropriate. “Hey guys really quick my friend and I were just talking about, what do you think?” Our remember chat light?

MIKE: I do remember that yes.

JAMIE: Then that, here’s a way you can, here’s a way you can kind of do that in your own way by yourself. So, besides lunch I would also encourage you to start doing happy hours, happy hours are fun king awesome you go there after, you go there after work, you go about six o’clock and what’s great about this you can do it by yourself and you can do it while you are travelling. Especially when you are travelling you have every excuse. (Phone ringing) Hold on one second. You have to be there because it’s like you start speaking to people like “Oh where are you from? Or what do you do bla bla bla” “Oh I’m here, I’m travelling from bla bla bla and I’m here on work. I’m here on business” That’s always an acceptable reason for being by yourself, especially like a happy hour.

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: So now you have your excuse for being there so the only difference is now what you’re going to do is you are going to start to go to happy hours and happy hours all so nominal because it’s a very most people in those things are going to be a lot more sociable. Women don’t usually have that same level of armor they have up like at 12 o’clock at night. They or maybe not 12 but 11 you know before they had some drinks but at six o’clock happy hour most people are more friendly, open right. So, what you are going to do is you are going to go to these places and you’re going to go to happy hour while you are travelling, you are going to make conscious up and do that.

Maybe have kind of an early dinner there remember at NET “No Extra Time” and while you are there, you are going to sit by the group you want to speak to, you are just going to, you are going to get {INAUDIBLE} and you just sit right next to him and you’ll, you’ll probably listen in to some stuff they say or whatever and at a certain point maybe you’ll kind of try in and then from there you will continue your routine stack. You maybe comment on something they say they will respond to you then maybe from there you do cold read. You do a cold read and then from there you are kind of off to the races so to speak, “Hey while you are here my friend and I was just talking with a friend of mine earlier about me to do your opinion opener. What do you guys think” and they respond, “Wait a second, did you guys just…” and you will continue your routine stack as it is.

The only difference is, your opener will change slight because you are kind of operating in a different way. So, you need me to repeat that or is that, I can repeat it again. Does that make a moral sense? Basically, the routine stack stays the same; I’m just giving you a different way to engage.

MIKE: So, I understand the NET aspect of things, just sit next to them. You, you mentioned maybe listening to what they might be saying and then comment on that. How will I do that, I mean I would, I would, I’m assuming I would open someway using what I hear or do I just ignore what there, they are talking about and use my own opener?

JAMIE: Yeah, I’ll give, I’ll give you a standard one you can play with because I want this to be your symbol for you. So, I have an opener called the Don’t Opener ok, I use it, I used it today for example in a shopping store. So, it’s very simple, it’s a structure. It’s simply don’t and then you follow up with whatever you anticipate they’ve might be doing, thinking or whatever. So, I’m going to give you several applications including the one I did today. So maybe you are at Starbucks and the girl in front of you is looking at the various you know items right and you, I’m sure you’ve been to Starbucks a zillion time the top, the top rows is usually like the cake pops and kind of the naughty stuff and then as you get lower it has like the sandwiches and more substantial food items right.

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: So maybe she’s in front of you, your target and she is looking very stuff and maybe you and by the way let me just repeat again. What you are going to follow up with after you say don’t is whatever you assume she might be thinking about to do but you are never going to know for sure. You are going to make a playful guess, so for example if the girl in front of me she is looking at the various food items maybe, maybe I’m going to assume Mike that she is looking at the naughty row and I might say “Don’t do it. You’ll regret it” you following me?

MIKE: Yeah, got it.

JAMIE: Or I’ll give you a few other examples maybe after the line, maybe I’m still waiting at Starbucks and like where you kind of wait by the barista and maybe the girl has a look of concern on her face right. She looks like upset, maybe she has or concerned or focused on the day and I might say and I assume in my head she is concerned about the quality of the cappuccino she is about to enjoy. So, I might say “Don’t worry, your cappuccino will come out just fine”. Maybe I’m in a hotel, I’m travelling like you do and in the lobby area I see a girl with like a little kind of roller bag brief case saying deal, she has a very serious expression on her face so I assume. Remember I don’t know for sure, you must have fun with this man, your, if you notice a lot of call reads and stuff we do, we are not fucking psychics.

There’s some level guessing and just having fun and enjoying ourselves. So maybe that girl of the roller bag maybe I assume that she is, she has a presentation later that day and she is concerned about how well it’s going to go. So, I see her with her little serious expression and I say, “Don’t worry, your presentation will go just fine today” you following me?

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: So, the structure is “Don’t” and then you fill in the rest with whatever you think she might be thinking about to do or whatever. Today I was walking through the, a shopping store and I opened with a girl with she was looking at various bedding and I say, and I walked by me saw her doing it and I said, “Don’t get that one.” and she looked at me kind of strange kind of like “Why would I say that” I’d say “Its grey” and that’s it, it doesn’t fuck matter. My whole reason for speaking to her to tell her not to get some is just because its grey and I could, I could kind of go on from there and say, “Come on you want something to brighten up the room, get, get this color, get that color” it doesn’t master, is you, is you learn from working with us the opener is just the opener. You just want to f***ing say f*** out of there as quickly as possible. So, this would be a structure you could use in social environments where you are opening indirect that work very well in, in a bar setting where you are kind of settled and all you do is, you just kind of do your thing you’re kind of maybe doing so emails bla bla bla. But the same time Mike you are kind of aware what’s happening around you, maybe here the girl ordered a drink for example and you say, “Don’t get that.” They don’t, they do, they are famous for their ba bla bla you get it?

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: So, it’s simply….

MIKE: I don’t.

JAMIE: Whatever you think she might be doing thinking etc.

MIKE: But it reminds me, I when I was heading up to somewhere I was in an elevator with, with good-looking girl and I would say maybe an eight and accidently hit the wrong bottom that ones to the basement instead of the main lobby area and. It was a conversation opener because I did say “Hey hopefully you don’t miss your flight because of this” and it progressed to “where are you going” and she answered and when she asked me I got interrupted by somebody else and then we were in the shuttle going to the airport and I just the conversation just ended. I was just silent, so I didn’t know what, how to continue or maybe I mind fucked myself thinking a lot you know what, what else to say or how to keep this going or how to, or how to re start the conversation after the interruption.

JAMIE: Got you, lets, lets, that’s a totally different question. So, I really want to solidify where we were just talking about first. Because first we were talking about engaging people and how to do it especially when you are travelling and other stuff, can we just hold off on that one for another second and so we can make the other. So, we can kind of close the loop on the first one.

MIKE: Alright.

JAMIE: is that, is that a little helpful to you though, that gives you a way to kind of engage and from there you just continue the routine stack. You do a cold read then you do your, you do your A2 piece like Jason gave you. But you can, all you need is a different way to engage in a different type of environment.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: Is that helpful?

MIKE: Yes, it makes sense.

JAMIE: Now, remember you always have that one. I think he gave this to you but this is always one it can be bread and butter, it’s also the one I focus on probably the most because it’s so simple and again, we just don’t want to over complicate. “Hey, I just had to come over and introduce myself. You guys seem like fun. I’m Mike nice to meet you. You remember that one?

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: Remember it’s all about delivery, if, if she can actually hear your voice something along aliens that “I just couldn’t help myself. I had to come over and say hello, you seem like you have good energy. I’m Mike nice to meet you” That delivery is what is going to make it stick. Right?

MIKE: Right.

JAMIE: So, you can always, you can always I mean if you get yourself in the right kind of you know state you can totally do that. You could be like, you could be like working on your, you could be at the, you could be at the bar. Maybe there’s a group kind of you know to the right of you, to the left of or whatever and then you kind of act like you are minding your own business at certain point and say “Hey I just can’t help myself any longer. I should introduce myself, you guys seem like fun. I’m Mike nice to meet you” Why couldn’t you do that? You following me?

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: You can still use the same opener. See I’m giving you another stuff more stuff to work with. But the danger of that Mike is that I don’t want to over complicate things for you.

MIKE: Bright.

JAMIE: You can keep that simple opener and continue forward right. There you open, like here I’m at the bar, I’m you, I’m by myself, I’m kind of doing my thing having a meal and a drink. There’s a group next to me a group I want to open and at certain point I just turn over and so I go “Hey I can’t help myself, id, id just had to introduce myself, you us seem like you are fun to talk to. I overheard you talk bla bla bla” Anyway “I’m Mike nice to meet you”. They respond you then kind of pause, take them in. Wait a second you know, you guys just girl code each other that does not work for guys at all. You can, you can totally do that. You following me?

MIKE: Yeah.

JAMIE: So, I don’t want to complicate it for you. It’s much simpler and in my own experience, well the experience of you know other people like yourself, you know the more you complicate, the more you have too many openers, it just, it just completed. So, I want you to understand or you can still, you can still use the same openers, you know even with your, even if you did an opinion opener you just kind of change up a little bit “Hey since you guys are here I just you got, you have {INAUDIBLE} I was talking to my friend a few minutes ago. Calls me up he is all “he did it because of bla” anyway is kissing cheating” you could still do the same thing.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: You just kind of ground it a little bit differently.

MIKE: Right, that really helps. Yeah that I can now see how I can change things up a little bit.

JAMIE: Yeah. See the benefit of the routine stack class which you’re going to do in a few weeks is about help, if that’s the next step helping you to kind of personalize it. But in the beginning and even then, I never wanted to be complicated for you. It just you know so I wanted to be very simple straight forward you know, simplicity is the best way to get going with this stuff. So, I don’t really want to give you a zillion opener, I just want to show you, you can really use the same opener, you get the same thing done.

MIKE: Right, ok. That’s helpful.

JAMIE: is that, is that clear. Is there anything about that answer that you need a little bit more clarity or you feel good that you can get out back out there and start trying that?

MIKE: No, I feel good. I’ve been writing notes.

JAMIE: Ok good. What’s important write that, write that commitment which you said already, which is 15. So, a week from today get that next 15 in and you know if you don’t you don’t right. But we still help you kind of figure out what you are missing here, for the first thing you can do to get closer to that 15 is just an awareness very simple. The things you are doing anyway look for an opportunity to meet somebody, to talk to somebody. Also, that’s, you know that no extra time NET, you know the thing you can do is start doing stuff where you know you are going to have lunch anyway. So having it at your f***ing desk if you did that, have it, go out by yourself, like go have lunch by yourself that’s a totally normal thing to do. Especially as a traveler man and start going to happy hours, have your dinner, have your dinner out, have a dinner at happy hour, have your lunch, have a drink or whatever. I know you don’t drink but you know have your dinner and but do it in a sociable environment and make a goal. “Hey while I’m here I’m going to open up one or two sets” very simple.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: So that’s a way that no matter what you’ll no excuses, you don’t do it just because you didn’t do it and again the last thing just to refine. If you have a goal you just get it done and if your, again if your, if its Tuesday and if you’ve only gotten 11 or 12 and you see kind of a cue girl at Starbucks that’s a six. Great she is still human being, she might be very attractive once you start speaking to her whatever. Bottom line is just get your numbers done.

MIKE: Alright.

JAMIE: You are still going to, you are still going to learn from her and all, and, and, and I think I told this before, my personal experience often times the hotter girls are actually much nicer. Sometime the difficult ones are the bitches, they are fucking like they just have a chip on their shoulder and it’s unbelievable and the beautiful all the times are fucking sweethearts. It’s incredible.

MIKE: I totally agree.

JAMIE: Yeah and its.

MIKE: I totally agree with you.

JAMIE: So, you are going to, yeah, you are going to learn something from everyone no matter what.

MIKE: Ok, so following up on and actual in person conversation and if it does lead to let’s say, if you do contact you know on clothes or Facebook whatever. What, what would be the next, would the next step be to continue a conversation through Facebook or whatever yeah, phone or snapchat whatever that means is or just to end it and if the conversation is to keep going then, then what do you talk about right.

JAMIE: Ok. Let’s see here, so your question is if I hear it right is like…If you are able to bridge or something like you do a phone number exchange or whatever you know wants, wants the best thing to do you do, do you text her, do you Facebook her, what do you do is that what you are asking?

MIKE: Yeah and, and when you do initiate something, what do you say and the texting type of scenario. {INAUDIBLE}

JAMIE: Ok. So, for texting your best bet is, is just make your text seem, but texting about logistics. Like anything you need to do to get attraction or to make her interested in you that should all be done in person or in the worst scenario like on the phone like actually talking to her. Don’t, don’t try and gain her with texting because many times it just doesn’t come across the way you want it to and things get lost. Things you think are funny to you or with you or whatever, you text message doesn’t translate like you wanted too.

So I highly to recommend to use texting purely for logistics “Hey I’ll see you at this bar at six” you know “Hey what are you, you know I’ll see you in 15 minutes. Oh, I’m running…” Logistics. So that’s an easy way to answer that, best thing to do with you know people is actually have some kind of event and meting in advance. So, for example you know if you met somebody and your, and your, you are travelling for example maybe in your real world you are travelling to Oklahoma or whatever and you meet someone there.

You know maybe, maybe when you met her you say “Hey you know I’m here travelling for a few days, there’s this restaurant bla I heard it’s amazing. I heard they have the best ribs ever, {INAUDIBLE} come and check it out, why don’t you come join me”. So, you are already talking in advance about something you are going to want to do and why, to get her excited about. “Oh my God I heard they have the best bla bla bla, you know come join I’ll be there, I’m going there at seven o’clock tomorrow.” you know she already has something already in mind. So, this way when you text her, call her whatever you already have a game plan going forward, you’ve already talked about when you might see her again. So it’s best to already have an outcome already in mind about what the next step would be.

MIKE: Ok, that helps.

JAMIE: So like the way I like to put it is, don’t make phone or about the phone number make it about an event, something you are doing anyway and great.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: … get her to come along for the ride. One of our, one of our greatest tools is this thing called plausible deniability where it’s like “Hey invite me come out with him and his five friends and you know it sounded really cool and he has this friend and bla bla bla and it sound like a really awesome time and they are going to this event and it sounded really cool.” and then she shows up Mike and then one thing leads to the other. You understand? So you are giving her the gift of being able to say she didn’t plan on it, it just happened. See otherwise if you make it about a date then there’s an expectation there, there are those types of sodalities and that’s not going to work in your favour.

MIKE: Right ok.

JAMIE: You might know what is going right, but you know like but make it about like “Oh my God this amazing restaurant, I’m in town for three days. I wanted to check it out, I’ve, did you know they have this and this there.” Hey, have you been…Oh my God have you ever been to standard roof top pool? Oh my God it’s amazing! I got some friends there, we are going to have some drinks, come join us. We will be there eight o’clock.” right. That’s the kind of thing you are doing.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: And then the texting would be kind of the “Hey I’m actually running 15 minutes late, I’ll be there 07:45.” it’s more just logistics. You should not be relaying or using the texting at least at the beginning for the purposes of getting something going. You did a good job when you were with her in person or it’s not going to work out.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: Is that answering that one?

MIKE: Yes, it does. As a phone call concern would that be just a type of conversation as it would in person or just avoid phone calls?

JAMIE: Phone calls are great, phone calls are, phone calls are great way. Like sometimes what’s going to happen to happen sometimes man is you are going to have a conversation with a girl and you get kind of cut short and in those, and, and… I made this really clear this isn’t some perfection thing, there’s always going to be some level of numbers. So sometimes you are going to be rushed and you might just say, you might just say “Hey I just want to sound a little crazy being I just met you, but…” you know because she is getting pulled away, she is go {INAUDIBLE} but “Hey I, lets exchange information. I’ll call you later in the week.” or you might give some reason just to get her number, in a world where you did have the ideal situation but you were just like “F*** it” it’s kind of like sometimes you see a girl in the street and you are like “f*** it” I’m just going to do it.

I know the ideal way to do this but that not available to me right now. So I rather go for something or nothing, that’s going to happens sometimes. So if that happens and you meet a girl that gets kind of rushed where you didn’t really get to push the interaction enough to get her attracted to you, you and you are aware of that and like “Alright I only get to spend like two minutes with her. She didn’t get to really learn a lot about me, so you know what I’m going to do I’m going to call her up in an hour and just continue to give a little bit of more, a little bit more of who I am.” So sometimes will call to try and kind of build that attraction where she gets to know and see they were fun to talk to. Does that make sense?

MIKE: Yes.

JAMIE: See you might use that; that is kind of, it’s not ideal. But again sometimes your time in person is cut short so you know, you might be like “yeah I’m going to call you in 20 minutes. I’m going to call you when we get over to bla bla bla” But you are doing it really because you know you didn’t have enough time with her and you need to kind of continue that and its better sooner rather than later. Because you didn’t build a lot about you, you spoke over two minutes to call her in three weeks, she is never going to return your phone call. But you are still fresh in her head, you just met her 20 minutes ago. F*** it! Call her. You know “Hey actually I was just here, I was thinking about what we were talking about.” And you talk to her for like five minutes. Don’t keep her on the phone forever but you want to give her a nice little dose of fun.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: Is that, is that answer…

MIKE: Yes, yes that helps. That answers the question.

JAMIE: Now let me, let me hit a couple other things too because you are loading to this stuff a little bit. What do you do when you meet her the next time right, like, its day two you meet her. Well you already did your routine stack now what? Is that also something you wanted to touch on?

MIKE: Yes.

JAMIE: Ok, so, so let’s talk about that a little bit. Now you are going to learn this the routine stack class, you are going to learn much more of, you know more of the mechanics at a lower level where you’ll really start to understand why this stuff works as well as being able to start to personalize right. This is more for that long return solution, but in short when we, after we open one of the first things we do is we offer an attraction piece that’s how Jason referred to it. You could also refer to it as a buying temperature piece or A2 or some of our other coaches then say instead of that, they put it in a mini DHV story. But that mini DHV story still has the same effect; it’s a quick attraction piece that’s used to elevate your emotional state. So then you notice that’s what we do right. We open then we do some kind of cold read and then as quickly as we can we offer some kind of attraction piece. This is all familiar, right?

MIKE: Yes.

JAMIE: Now the reasons why we do this differentiate of cells very quickly, also we want to make the conversations fun, we understand most people are very EDD’s. So you know you got to minute or so to, to kind of involute something. So she is like “Wow this is fun! I love talking to this guy, he is enjoyable. He is always got the best stories bla bla bla”. So a more granger level that’s what’s happening, you’re coming in there with energy, you are elevating her emotional state. So very quickly from the beginning you are getting her fun, having fun, laughing because this is a momentum game Mike. The quicker you can get that momentum in there the quicker you can get things pushing forward.

Now here’s the thing, when you see her the second time like on the day two. In some regards you are kind of starting over right. I mean unless you sleep with her the time before right. In a situation where you know you kind of met her you had a fun 15 minutes together but then she had to go her way, you had to go yours. You are kind of starting over a little bit, you know she is like “Oh he was kind of cool, he was cool enough to meet here.” Also because it’s just lunch anywhere, whatever you did with her. But you are kind of starting over so you want to kind of keep the same principals in mind.

Now an easy way to do that is just before you even meet up with her for the second time just ask yourself what kind of cool stuff can you talk about, what great happen over the last week, maybe even today. Something exciting, something fun, something kind of involute a little emotion in you. So imagine once you’ve thought of that. Remember a lot of this comes down to just an awareness, awareness of these you know techniques these types of psychologies right. So you’re aware of that you are like “Ok I’m going to meet this girl in 10 minutes. What am I going to start the conversation with? What kind of fun can I inject in the conversation immediately? Oh ok, that’s great story, that happened to me two days ago, that happened to me earlier today. So I’m going to sit down and right away I’m going to say, “oh my god you are not going to believe what just happened to me.”  Have you ever given, have you ever donated to a GoFundMe account, GoFundMe campaign before?”. She is going to say “No, yes” whatever.

Alright so the craziest thing happened “story”. So what I’m all really doing here Mike I’m just aware that I need to come into that conversation with energy I’m starting over essentially. Don’t, I’m not thinking for a f***ing second just because I had a fun conversation two days ago for 15 minutes that you know I passed all her tests. So I need to you know kind of again kind of boost that energy right from the beginning come with high energy and get her feeling good right away. Because that’s what’s going to make her like kind of again give her that reaffirmed feeling “Oh my God this guy is cool, he is cool, he is fun, he so interesting, he has got shit to talk about.” So all I’m doing is that I’m just aware that I didn’t want to come with something right away.

So I might start right with my conversation like “Oh my God you are not going to believe what just happened to me. Hey, have you ever been to.” so I’m going to come in right away with a story. I’m not going, I’m definitely not going to start with “Hey how’s your day going?” “Hey what did you do today” F*** that.

MIKE: That’s a {INAUDIBLE}

JAMIE: Yeah you are not going to do that anymore, remember your role is to drive the conversation. It’s not hers, it’s your job to drive the conversation to compel her, to escalate you’re the f***ing escalator man. So you got to be constantly pushing it, physically, verbally, you got to show her how you want her to be. So you got to be the one who comes in there with that energy. So all I’m telling you to do is on the day two just have that awareness alright. I’m kind of starting over here to some degree, you know the girl spend a little time, you haven’t made out with her yet or anything you know I need to be just right for them to getting injected something, it doesn’t have to be that complicated man. Even just the fact you are excited to talk about it, that alone is going to add to your delivery.

So just, and again you know the first time you meet somebody even the second time to some degree the details can be a little light, you know you take a true story and that happened a year ago and you make, and you said, “oh my God it happened yesterday or the day before.” You know you can be a little light on the truth in the beginning. You following me?

MIKE: Yeah, Yeah.

JAMIE: And with that said to be honest I don’t want my you know, I don’t want her to be so truthful with me either. So it goes both ways, I don’t mind if she lies a little bit to me there. So it’s like look were just, we are just to vibe off each other. So don’t worry if your details aren’t exact.

MIKE: Ok, yeah right. Yeah that helps.

JAMIE: And just, I have one last thing I want to add there. There’s certain topics that women actually gravitate towards, it’s better that this fun story connects with certain themes. The certain themes are relationships that are why these opinion openers work really well, like “Who lies more men or women?” “Is kissing cheating?” Notice they all have the same; they are all relationship type of questions. So if you have something going on at work, maybe you have a friend of yours that you know is hooking up with some guy at work or just something kind of scandalous going on there you right, something like that. Maybe it’s not directly your work maybe it’s you know a friend of yours work or whatever. If it’s some kind of relationship kind of topic that’s a great thing anything met a physical oriented. Ok, that’s why cold reads work very well.

People, even if people don’t believe in it almost everyone is at least interest in the topic off the mystical right. See if someone like that travelling is always a great topic, you know your last trip to L.A or wherever. Especially if you did something really while you were there, these are all fair game for you. So those topics are going to be the ones that women are going more often gravitate towards, you know don’t talk about, you know you don’t want to talk about guys stuff like “Hey I built this thing, I’m working on this engineering project” she is going to fucking fall asleep, if you can try and stay at topics that are you know more feminine oriented. They’re going to spark, it’s going to spark their interest.

MIKE: Ok.

JAMIE: Good. John, we can go back to you. You want to anything else, any, I know you have a lot of, I know you have some personal, just normal personal development stuff, you know, you kind of want to talk about any of that while we are here?

JOHN: Yeah, I had kind of two questions for you, just minor questions in terms of piece, 15 people weeks. That I’d like to open, what like, when would you consider the success or like what should I have like, like getting a number or should it be just opening 15 people?

JAMIE: well make sure those 15, this is very important should always be a minimal outcome at the minimum of phone number or moving. like maybe you may meet a girl at Starbucks and say “Hey I know this sounds a little crazy, I’m actually kind of enjoying this conversation. Let’s continue this over there, let’s sit down” you know like that, that would be a success as far as I’m concerned assuming your keeping your relationship. Something where you are, you are at, you are pushing her where the conversations clearly cross the personal threshold. So a move, a move or a phone number would be the minimum, but possibly if you really like company you get, and even if you are not going to push anywhere try to get her to meet up with you some other time. Make a new friend.

JOHN: Ok.

JAMIE: But yeah, it’s not like “hi, how are you?” “Great. Nice speaking to you” that’s one, that does not count.

JOHN: Ok and so, so now when you’ve been in relationships and you are not trying to cross the line. Are you also trying to kind of being a little bit sexual and kind of escalating things a little bit?

JAMIE: Yeah, you kind of have to a little bit. I mean that’s just the truth in that or like, this a good question because I find, I mean if you really want the girl to really spark an interest there’s got to be a little of that between a man and woman to some degree. I mean like even most people I know like most women that like you know have a guy friend like there’s usually this, a little something there to some degree you there have been in the past or something like that. You know it’s like yeah, pretty much, it has to be a little of that kind of sexual energy. Remember you always have a plausible deniability, you talk like this to all your friends, but you know talking about sexual topics, you know like “Hey I’m not even sure if I’m hitting on you or not or whatever” your kind of lewd serve things you definitely want to have a little bit of that tension there.

JOHN: Ok.

JAMIE: Is that, that’s what’s going to make her interesting you know to her, you know just the fact “Uh where is he going with this?”

JOHN: Right ok…

JAMIE: You know.

JOHN: Got it, ok.

JAMIE: You don’t have to do that, hey if you are just really interesting guy that’s read too. But they are much more likely to stick if you can add that element. because that’s the guy, that’s the guy she will clear her calendar for to hang out with versus another one of her friends.

JOHN: got it, ok that makes sense. Ok, so yeah. Switching gears just a little bit here to like just more personal stuff. I’ve been, I’ve been actually reading a little of like NLP kind of stuff.

JAMIE: Alright.

JOHN: Really fascinating stuff and I’ve kind of dabbled into it before. But I definitely believe in it and it seems to work pretty well. But I was curious on your take on like I, I want to kind of, kind of focus in on motivation in my life little bit more and I find that my motivation for stuff is just kind of female let’s say. Its liked all over the place and it can, like it definitely is always there but it, it you know I’m kind of like, like a jack of all trades. Like master of none you know I’ll like go attack something for a little bit and then I come back to something else and you know, having my core kind of interested in things. But I just, I feel like any, if I see you can give one, one like keeping motivation and, and you know sometimes like I’ll sleep in because I think I’m not motivated to truly get up and do anything exciting for the day and that’s not good. So I was just curious if you had any advice on that?

JAMIE: Ok, you want to write this one down. Tell me when you are ready?

JOHN: Yeah, go for it.

JAMIE: You need to know your why, W H Y. Why are you doing this man? Wants at stack? You understand? If your why is strong enough you will get it fucking done. Its only when your why is unclear that you don’t do it, when you know your why and its fucking compelling, that’s when you are on a mission and you will not stop and you will keep going. So your why probably right now is not strong enough, so let’s, let’s talk about something. Let’s kind of play this out here a little bit. What’s something that you want to be more motivated on? What scenario?

JOHN: you know like I, I’m a professional colorist for film but I ultimately want to be you know writer director, who gets paid to do that and its, it’s a very, it’s obvious it’s very difficult and to break into. And so it can be difficult to kind of maintained that motivation keep creating stuff when you are not getting paid for it, like just…It feels almost like continuing to create and, and no one is listening you know what I mean. I know that’s not true but like that’s, that’s kind of the feeling that I have.

JAMIE: Ok, so, so I would say with 98% certainty that’s going to be the issue, that you are not clear on your why right. You haven’t really, you haven’t really thought about it and internalized it to the level where, where nothing else matters even that nothing else matters but like, it is become a mission to you. For example if I talk to you, my wife or my coaching you know, dude it’s incredible at compelling, it gets, yeah, I mean I’m ready to run out of the building each day for myself, for my friends, for my family, for my coach, you know for my clients. Like I want to be the fucking best and if want to be the best this is what it fucking takes, you know like you, you, you got to do these things and there’s so much at stack for myself, all the people that are impact. That if don’t have no fucking choice man and the, the, the reward what’s at stack is to read and if remind myself of that you know every day. So that’s what like fires me up, my why is massive. But like if ask you, you know. What’s your, what’s you for your being a writer, director you know, what’s your, what’s your why?  I mean why, why do you, why do you want to do that? Why do you want to be a director? What’s at stack for you man?

JOHN: You want me to {INAUDIBLE}?

JAMIE: Yeah.

JOHN: I, if on a very like personal level if want to, if want to change people live, if want to emotionally engage them and like get, it just drives me, it’s really exciting to see people kind of gravitate towards in and feel something from something that if created. You know that’s one reason, if want to make money, you know if want to, you know. I want to make a name for myself, if want to be successful. Make {INUADIBLE} I take my life for that.

JAMIE: Ok, often, often times and, and that’s a reason but you are going to need more power behind it. You know it’s like often times you have more power when there’s more than just beyond you. For example you, you know want people to feel something that you created, like which people? Who’s going, who’s going to feel something? Why does this message need to get out there? Who else is going to be impacted? Is there a family, are there friends, and are there people you want to help specifically?

You know, if men it’s got to be, you know it’s got to be more, it’s got to be more then what you are telling me. Because there’s a lot of people out there like epoch if want a business because if want to make some money” and maybe for example if have consulting business like “Yeah if want to do consulting make some money and I’m good helping companies and if like helping companies.” Saying out like helping companies and I’ll make some money, those are reasons but there’s a lot of reasons to a lot of things “Hey I’d like to, I’d like to get really in great shape and get ripped.” I would like to versus if must, if have no fucking choice.

If this is what really want, then this is what is required and if will not accept anything less than these types of experiences in my life. You know, you can just listen to your choice of words, it just doesn’t sound like, it’s a compelling of enough of a future for you, where you why are so like. You ever see the video by Less Brown where he talks about you will succeed when you, when you, when you want success more then you want to breath” you know what I’m talking about?

JOHN: No. I haven’t seen that.

JAMIE: I want, if want you to watch his vide here. Go to, go to YouTube. Let me see now, I’m probably do it with you here. Let’s see if can find it the same time. You watch his video and if think, Less Brown is probably one of the, as far as pure motivational speaker he is probably number one like Tony Robbins is a strategist, if consider more than just motivational speaker. But as far as somebody who just the words are powerful and they just like revue up without necessarily being able to do anything with it. I think Less Brown is probably the best at that but he has this one, he has two videos actually. I want you to watch them both man and this is going to really speak a little bit more to that why. So put in Less Brown “L E S S   B R O W N succeed more than breath” let’s see if can find it with you on that. Oh sorry, oh sorry. This one wasn’t Less Brown if was, if was mistaken. This one is Eric Thomas that’s who did this one. So Eric Thomas, let me re write then there good thing if did this with you here. Yeah, if had, if had the two guys confused. Less Brown is amazing know who that is but as far as they are speaking, if got a little confuse. So Eric Thomas. Let’s see here, let’s see if this is the one. yeah ok, so if got the video. Can you, can you hear by the way, can you hear the video in the background right now?

JOHN: No.

JAMIE: No, ok so just…. Alright, so just “Eric Thomas succeeds more than breathe” and it’s on my search it’s the third one. That’s who are you going to watch. Basically says it’s pretty simple. In the story he has this like, there’s this guy who wants to succeed at business and this you know religious monk somebody is like “Hey meet me at the beach and I’ll show you how to succeed” and the first thing the guy does was, fucking puts him underwater and the guy says “Why are you fucking having me, what are you doing to me?” he is like “When you want to succeed more then you want to breath, that is when you will succeed” when that drive, when that why, when that why is so fucking powerful John that nothing that, that it just, it just becomes obsession for you. Like the promise, this doesn’t sound like what you are talking about right now. This dream about being a director doesn’t sound like the, listening to you doesn’t sound like you are, you want it, you like it. It doesn’t sound like an obsession, there’s a big difference there. Your why is not strong enough to make it where there is no choice for you anymore. You want it more then you, more than like life you following me?

JOHN: Yeah, so, so what you are saying is to watch this video, understand what Eric is talking about and then…

JAMIE: And then…

JOHN: Find…

JAMIE: And then, and then strengthen your why. Your why is not strong enough and the way you will know, the way. You want to know the way you’ll know when your why is getting stronger, is listening to the say you describe it. Like if mean I’m listening to you, it sounds no different than a hobby and again no offense here you are coming here for help. But “Yeah if want to have something for people you know, to help people feel something. I want to make some money”. You just, you sound very kind of like almost not chill on about it. You see the difference?

JOHN: Yeah sure if mean.

JAMIE: Yeah, if you ask me about my life coaching, if have no fucking choice John. I got to make this fucking work, if got to, well you know when if open ups set some of the times I’m like, it’s not just for me. I got to become the best coach. How am I going to become the best coach if I don’t have these fucking experiences, I got to do it, I’ve no choice and you know what, it’s like build towards my bigger coaching vision which is beyond the pickup thing. I got to, I got to build a foundation here, I got to do great at this, so I can build at the next level. I have no choice man and I want this more than anything, its, its, it’s my obsession. I must have it happen, my choice of words is stronger and when you really think about what’s at stack you can ask yourself that question, what’s really at stack here.

Why do I have to have this happen for me? When those things become so powerful you’ll notice you’ll start to use more powerful words when you answer the question I asked you “Why?” and when those questions, when those words are so strong where you are using very powerful language you will know that it’s starting to become an obsession for you where it’s almost not even up for negotiation, it has to happen. You will die for this you see the difference? Does that make a little bit more sense?

JOHN: So

JAMIE: You why, bottom line is your why need some work, your, you want it but you don’t have to have it. It’s not a must yet. There are a lot of people that want a lot of things I want, I want this and I want. But when you must have it and it’s got to happen and because your why is strong like, like being able to breathe. You are going to make it happen man and you will find a way to keep yourself motivated.

JOHN: Ok. So ok, so I have to do some basically sitting down exploring like running things out, figuring out kind of why it means so much to me and put it down on paper would that be…

JAMIE: Put it on paper build a compelling vision for yourself. Why does this have to happen? Must happen, look at the words I’m choosing. Why does this have to happen? What is at stack? Make your words powerful, create a compelling vision of the future you know make this, its, if you cross that thresholder alright man, you know I want to be a billionaire. Well then, I can sleep to noon anymore that is just the bottom fucking line. You know, you following me?

JOHN: Right, right definitely.

JAMIE: I mean billionaires don’t sleep to noon. So if you want to be a billionaire, well you better wake up early and if your compelling vision is strong enough where your why is strong enough, well you just have no fucking choice. Not because your, not because you’re begrudgingly doing it but because you want to do it.

JOHN: Right, Yeah.

JAMIE: What you, what you are going to have explore along the way is you know, you know is that you can’t force this kind of stuff man. I’ve had other stuff that I wanted to do but I just wants really, I just wants in the bottom line I wasn’t really fully committed to it and so I just couldn’t force it. So you know there’s always, there’s always the chance that maybe, maybe this isn’t the top thing or you who knows. Maybe this will help you clarify your vision as something different but you know for you to motivate yourself. The reason why you are not motivated is because you haven’t answered that question effectively the “Why”. Watch that video and see what you come up with.

JOHN: Ok

JAMIE: And see how powerful your answers are when you answer that and if they are not powerful, then you need more work to do. Because when it’s really powerful you are not going to be, you are not going to be sleeping until noon anymore, so to speak.

JOHN: Right. That makes sense.

JAMIE: Right, I mean you get, the probably easiest example is the one I was doing before a second ago. Which is like “I must become a billionaire” why I must become a billionaire, because of bla bla bla. Well that’s it, can’t fucking sleep to noon anymore, got to get up. Why I must get up? Because to do this, that is what this requires and I have to do this, there’s too much at stack and it just, it has to get done and that’s it. I want this more than anything and if you don’t have that yet, that’s ok but you need to, you need to really build a really compelling case or vision of that why. So yeah, watch the video then start answering those type of questions and see what you come up with and you, and you will find that once, once you answer that effectively you’ll cross a threshold where you won’t have to force yourself to motivate yourself anymore.

You are just going to do it because it’s so powerful. A good example, a good example is a lot of people out there you know, they tell themselves, here’s, here’s actually another awesome example just to give you more of what I’m talking about here. There’s a lot of people out there, how many people do you know John they are like I need to start working out, I need to start eating better you know a lot of people like that? Because I do.

JOHN: Yeah.

JAMIE: Then, then all sudden that person becomes 40, 50 years old and they have a real issue. They, they, they, they get diagnosed with cancer stage one, stage two, stage or a heart element “Uh now there’s something at stack” You don’t fucking change your diet you are going to fucking die. That’s pretty compelling don’t you think?

JOHN: Of course.

JAMIE: And then, and then they turn around. But they do it because there why is strong enough, but death is a pretty strong why. So I’m not trying to scare you or get you thinking like in those kinds of negative terms but that is a great parallel of what you need to do for yourself. You need to, you need to force yourself to find out why, what that why is and why it’s so compelling that, that’s it you are on auto pilot. You are going to make it happen.

JOHN: Got it.

JAMIE: It wasn’t an overnight process for me by the way. This is something that you know became an obsession over a few years. Where now I’m just like, I’m just like a maniac like I can’t stop putting myself in environments where I’m learning, teaching, coaching. I just can’t stop man but its, of course its enjoyable. But my why is so compelling that I can’t stop if, if I wanted to. I mean I wouldn’t want to but you know what I’m saying. So, but that health example is another good very practical one. Where also the why becomes so strong because its life or death, well you know what they are going to do now.

JOHN: Yeah, yeah.

JAMIE: this is…

JOHN: Ok.

JAMIE: I’m just facilitating a creative process for you but start doing those little exercises and I think you’ll, you’ll start to go in the right direction.

 

JOHN: Yeah, I mean vie always known that this is something like, I, I feel like its deep within me. I just can’t express it well and maybe that’s the problem, it’s the words that I’m using to tell myself why I need to do this aren’t there.

JAMIE: Would you like it to happen? Or it must happen. Got to make it work.

JOHN: Yeah.

JAMIE: See you got to…

JOHN: Yeah

JAMIE: You got to look at that. When you start describing it in the more powerful context you will know your why’s is becoming, its strengthening.

JOHN: Right.

JAMIE: But that, that’s a very consistent thing, Less Brown talks about that, this guy Eric Thomas talks about it, Tony Robbins talks about it. The “why” is a very powerful mechanism. You can, you can get anyone else to do anything too. You go, you go through pain or pleasure that why is powerful enough you can get anyone to change. Not just yourself but other people as well, it’s also interesting to know.

JOHN: Yeah, sounds good.

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