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Overcoming Fear Of Rejection

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Fear of public ridicule at the hands of beautiful women is surprisingly common. Many, MANY men – myself included back in the day – share this potentially crippling fear. Few people are brave enough to come right out and say it though, so if you’re reading this you’re at least moving in the right direction by recognizing a problem and seeking out the means to fix it!

The best way to get past this fear is to face it head on. Open some sets. Get blown out a couple of times. It’s not nearly as bad as the mind imagines it will be. Maybe the girls are a little short with you, or maybe they ignore you/pretend they dont hear you, or maybe they leave to go to the dancefloor or bathroom. Regardless, you’ll notice that you’ve survived it, and it really wasn’t that traumatic at all! In fact, once you get past those first couple of bad approaches, the supposed scenario where some girl rips you up in front of everyone will seem more and more unrealistic with every approach.

Even at my most AFC I don’t think I’ve EVER had a set get downright mean or hurtful or try to [I]call me out[/I] to a group of people, although I used to constantly fear it. Sure, I’ve seen guys be such assholes to girls in the field that they eventually do snap on a guy and tear his head off for being a dick, but I’ve never seen a girl put an average guy on the spot and embarrass him just for talking to her. And with 7 years of pick-up experience behind me, I now see that it would downright ridiculous for a girl to get that mean, especially at a public gathering where acting like a cruel bitch would actually hurt her social reputation.

Imagine some guy walks by a girl, smiles, and says “Hey how’s it going tonight?”. First, our natural human response is to at least smile back, not throw a drink in his face. But imagine your fear is actually correct and she flips the fuck out out on him, shouting shit like “Did you think I would sleep with YOU? You’re just fat and ugly and pathetic! What made you think you were good enough for me? Everybody look at this loser!!” Most people looking on would be thinking “who invited that crazy bitch?” and would quickly distance themselves from her. Although our insecurities never think about these things logically, it’s pretty obvious that this kind or reaction is way over the top and is completely out of line. Anyone who saw a girl acting like that would conclude that she lacks basic social intelligence, or that there is something very wrong with her. And who wants to be around someone like that? And since most girls are far more socially intelligent than us, this kind of thing will likely never actually happen to you.

This comic from actually illustrates what I’m talking about perfectly:

xkcd comic

Now, despite realizing how illogical your fear of rejection actually is, chances are you’re still going to experience it in the field. As I mentioned before, the best way to get past this is to just get out there and face it head on. When my wings and I first did the newbie drill years and years ago, we would spend an entire night early on just focusing on purposely getting blown out. When we would open sets and try to overneg, we would do strange things with our body language, we would even purposely show way too much interest with over-the-top Peppy Le Pew-style advances. It was all just to see a) what would happen, and b) what we could get away with before being blown out. And what we learned was that we could say and do a LOT of crazy things before girls would actually get fed up. And after experiencing all that, living to tell the tale, and even laughing at some of the ridiculous situations we found ourselves in, the fear of being rejected when approaching NORMALLY was practically non-existent.

So get out there in the field and push past those insecurities. You’ll find that women are actually far nicer, friendlier, and easy to get along with than you think.

Happy sarging,


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2 Responses to "Overcoming Fear Of Rejection"
  1. Lucian says:

    Completely agree. I would say that this is all inner game in that one of the biggest problems you can bring to your game is the assumptions you have made about women throughout your life.
    This is applicable equally to rejection as it is to who you choose to approach.

  2. Legend-- says:

    Cooool. Dope article. “The best way to get past this fear is to face it head on. Open some sets. Get blown out a couple of times. It’s not nearly as bad as the mind imagines it will be.”

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