You said those two little words once before and found yourself burned in the end. “I Do” may seem like such a miniscule affirmation, but for many it is the determination between endless happiness and a long moment of broken heartedness. Unfortunately, you’re with the latter group, having had your heart torn out by that miserable wench you had once loved. While you may feel like all hope is lost, you can still get out there, and you feel like the time is right, there are a few things to keep in mind when you’re out on the prowl to meet your next fling.
Once you get yourself back in order – shave, some new clothes, and that long awaiting shower – than you’re more than ready to take on the dating scene; but where do you start? While you may feel like you’re completely over your ex-wife and have been able to push all anger aside, avoid going anywhere you two may have frequented. Let your ex be a distant memory by not accidentally rekindling those memories by seeing “your booth” at the local bar. Try somewhere new, somewhere that won’t recognize you as the “poor divorcee”.
When you’ve finally got your sights set on some gorgeous gal, your next move is going to determine the flow of the whole evening. Just because you’re a divorcee doesn’t mean you’re damaged goods, so don’t approach anybody without some level of confidence. When you make your approach, don’t start any portion of the conversation with anything that has to do with your divorce or your ex-wife. Obviously, if you’re seriously looking for a mate, don’t hide the fact that you’re a divorcee; just don’t make it the first topic of conversation.
As the conversation starts flowing, you may question whether or not it is wise to bring up any children you may have. You don’t want to come off as ashamed of anything that came from the marriage – especially children. Let the conversation flow to a point where the comfort level is high enough between the two of you, then let her in to more personal aspects of your life. If she’s digging you and is mature enough for you, than she’ll more than likely stick around. If her reaction is less than favorable, than realistically she’s not the one for you. Bringing up your children will be the telltale point in the conversation that determines whether you may or may not be talking to the right person.
Despite the fact that you have this black cloud of divorce seemingly following you wherever you go, it’s not a label that you need to wear outwardly. Sure, your heart may have been crushed to a million pieces, but there is life after a failed marriage, and you just need to get back out there. You’ll be surprised as to how many women would love to take on a divorcee – just make sure they’re not in it to “fix” you. You’re not a toy.