A short while ago I posted a link to an article from Cosmo on the forum called 24 Problems Only Women Who Have Casual Sex Understand because it offers a great insight into some of the problems that sexually adventurous women encounter. As PUAs, it’s our job to circumvent these problems and avoid as many as possible, whenever possible, in order to make it easy for women to feel comfortable both before and after sleeping with us. Now, some of these are outside the realms of our control, so I’m only going to offer advice on avoiding those problems that we can actually influence:
#1 Getting late-night “whats up” texts and having no idea who they’re from.
Always throw a little call-back humour into your texts. If you’re texting her late at night for a hook up, you’ve hopefully been able to build up some conspiracies and inside jokes that can remind her of who you are if she hasn’t saved your number.
#2 Anxiety attacks every time you wait for the gynecologist to give you your STD test results. Even though you always use condoms.
The only way to really make this easier on the girl (and yourself when you go get tested) is to ALWAYS use a condom, and reassure every woman you sleep with that you always use protection with everyone – NO EXCEPTIONS.
#3 Having to have an STD conversation with every new sex partner.
Use protection (see above), watch out for cold sores, and don’t sleep with anyone who looks like they’ve had a lot of unprotected sex and you should be able to avoid this problem.
#4-6 Not realizing you were going to have sex, so not bringing fresh underwear in your purse. Or a toothbrush. Or eye makeup remover.
In Lovedrop’s apartment makeover video, he actually recommends having LOTS of products that a woman who has spent the night may need. These should include some fresh underwear (nothing fancy, just some cheap, unopened panties), spare toothbrushes, tampons, pads, and eye makeup remover.
#11 Wondering if it’s too rude to ask him to leave after sex because you just sleep so much better when you can starfish in your queen bed by yourself.
This one can be tricky, because I’ve found a lot of women will feel used if you just decide to leave after sex. Personally, if I’m at a girl’s place, I will ask her (after we’ve fooled around) “So when do you need me to be out of here? Like, I have a meeting tomorrow around 11 (implying that I’m willing to stay but not for TOO long), but if you’re the type who likes to sprawl out and have the bed to herself I can go whenever is most comfortable for you.”
#14 Having to have access to condoms, whether you or he provides them.
ALWAYS have condoms available. This should be a given.
#16 Having to make morning conversation after you’ve basically realized you have nothing in common.
Any PUA worth his salt should be able to avoid this by properly qualifying the girl and building comfort. You should be searching for and building commonalities long before you have gone to bed with her so that you have lots to talk about later on.
#18 Dealing with the obnoxious male assumption that you’re always looking for something serious.
You should never assume that a woman wants something serious with you. You can sometimes ruin a perfectly good casual relationship by assuming right off the bat that she wants to get serious and telling her that you aren’t looking for that without actually finding out what she’s looking for. It’s important to be straightforward and honest about your intentions, but you should always find out what hers are before you start making assumptions.
#19 Getting “disclaimers” from guys you’re not even interested in a long-term relationship with.
#22 When guys want to cuddle with you even if it’s a one-night stand.
Personally, I love to cuddle, but if it’s just a one-night-stand or a casual hook-up it can be kind of awkward. If she starts to cuddle up with you, cuddle her back. But if she’s rolled over and put her back to you with some space between you and her, chances are she’s not looking for that. If you’re not sure, sometimes you can even ask her “Are you the cuddling type? I personally love falling asleep with my arms around a beautiful woman, but I get it when people need space.”
So there you have it, some tips on avoiding some of the many problems encountered by women who have casual sex. Be sure to ask any questions on the forum!