Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    2

    Where did I screw up?

    Guys, please help.
    1- She is my coworker
    2- IOI's: Rubbing my biceps two times, playing with her hair while talking to her, playing with her earlobe
    3- Asked her for lunch inside the company ( I am trying not to rush things as she is a coworker )
    4- Went to lunch. She turned the lunch into a "date". Questions like what did you do in weekend, how many languages you speak,...... She even qualified her by eating health and lying she goes to gym.
    5-Honestly, I didn't DHV at this lunch as I have one already since we work together plus I did before and it came out as bragging. In addition, I thought I already got her hooked and no point for me to come across as trying since she was the one who was already trying to impress me. Plus, it is lunch inside the company, I thought I would run my routine in a date .
    6- Next week, went and talked to her . She held eye-contact and twirl her hair. Good sign to proceed.
    7- Few hours later, went and talked to her again . She held eye-contact. She twirl her hair.
    8- Her sister's BF is Egyptian like me. "MY girl "doesn't like him at all.
    9- Asked her out on date. She said she has boyfriend . Confirmed .
    10- I told her I never thought you have a BF or at least you look unhappy in this relation. IT made her crazy and kept asking why I thought she is not happy.
    11- Pushed more to get her number.
    I don't care that much. But I think I screwed up at #5, as maybe she was looking for upgrade I should have DHV'ed more???. But at the same time, I can see she is still twirl her hair while talking to me . This happened twice after this lunch.
    What do you think?


  2. #2
    You screwed up by putting this much thought into a girl you haven't had sex with and who already has a boyfriend.

    Keep churning.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Mizo View Post
    Guys, please help.
    1- She is my coworker
    2- IOI's: Rubbing my biceps two times, playing with her hair while talking to her, playing with her earlobe
    3- Asked her for lunch inside the company ( I am trying not to rush things as she is a coworker )
    4- Went to lunch. She turned the lunch into a "date". Questions like what did you do in weekend, how many languages you speak,...... She even qualified her by eating health and lying she goes to gym.
    5-Honestly, I didn't DHV at this lunch as I have one already since we work together plus I did before and it came out as bragging. In addition, I thought I already got her hooked and no point for me to come across as trying since she was the one who was already trying to impress me. Plus, it is lunch inside the company, I thought I would run my routine in a date .
    6- Next week, went and talked to her . She held eye-contact and twirl her hair. Good sign to proceed.
    7- Few hours later, went and talked to her again . She held eye-contact. She twirl her hair.
    8- Her sister's BF is Egyptian like me. "MY girl "doesn't like him at all.
    9- Asked her out on date. She said she has boyfriend . Confirmed .
    10- I told her I never thought you have a BF or at least you look unhappy in this relation. IT made her crazy and kept asking why I thought she is not happy.
    11- Pushed more to get her number.
    I don't care that much. But I think I screwed up at #5, as maybe she was looking for upgrade I should have DHV'ed more???. But at the same time, I can see she is still twirl her hair while talking to me . This happened twice after this lunch.
    What do you think?
    With Co-workers its best to go indirect the entire time. Why? It can back fire if you don't. You never want to give her anything that she could use against you sometime. Nor, do you want to give her a way to start a conversation with another girl at your work like "omg Mizo asked me out, it was so weird, I told him I had a BF" Even though she gave you IOI's the entire time. In war, there is a saying " Never give your enemies targets to aim at? This isn't war, but the strategy holds true here. Play the indirect game at work, so that they can never say to anyone what you did, and/or said.

    In the past, some girls have flirted with me at work, but now that I am older I have started to notice that the girl is just using me to make herself feel good, and to make her look cool to her female peers. (I am not hating on it) I'm not saying this is the case with you, because I don't know the social dynamics at your work, but its just something to think about.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by SanDiegoNative View Post
    With Co-workers its best to go indirect the entire time. Why? It can back fire if you don't. You never want to give her anything that she could use against you sometime. Nor, do you want to give her a way to start a conversation with another girl at your work like "omg Mizo asked me out, it was so weird, I told him I had a BF" Even though she gave you IOI's the entire time. In war, there is a saying " Never give your enemies targets to aim at? This isn't war, but the strategy holds true here. Play the indirect game at work, so that they can never say to anyone what you did, and/or said.

    In the past, some girls have flirted with me at work, but now that I am older I have started to notice that the girl is just using me to make herself feel good, and to make her look cool to her female peers. (I am not hating on it) I'm not saying this is the case with you, because I don't know the social dynamics at your work, but its just something to think about.
    Thanks, I totally understand! and I was suspicious at the beginning but the signs were too strong.

    Especially the unconscious ones ( e.g. playing with her hair, even with her earlobe ) , Even asking me so personal questions (e.g. how old I am, my sliding, what do I do for fun, how many languages do I speak,..)

    DO YOU THINK SHE CAN FAKE ALL OF THIS? I am not arguing I am trying to learn .

    Last edited by Mizo; 04-19-2018 at 11:59 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    3
    I think everything is ok until #9, but can't understand why she was incongruent here. As a co-worker you couldn't do much more DHV than your baseline. If that was because of her sister's boyfriend, that wouldn't simply proceed right from the beginning. Maybe she was insecure out-dating you because of a BF and wanted you to know at this time. You did it well showing surprise and telling her she's not happy.

    All you can do now is ignoring her completely. You did your masculine job, period. Maybe there will be any advancement in future (from her) in case you're interested (she has a BF anyway).


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    13
    yea you messed up by not asking if she had a boyfriend early game


  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    3
    That way he'd look needy. Alpha males don't ask for boyfriends. An uninterested girl lets a guy know early when she has a boyfriend, or pretends to have one. Maybe #9 was just in time for her.

    Last edited by kasp; 05-24-2018 at 10:34 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
test