Lately, my girlfriend has been hinting about what it’s like to be married and how our marriage should be. At first, I found it cute and adorable but she’s been mentioning it a lot lately and I can’t help but worry that it’s her way of saying “let’s get married now.” Okay, maybe she’s not saying “now” but I can feel that she wants it to happen soon.

I met her through an interracial date tour and we’ve been together for 11 months now. Although it’s clear that we’re dating with marriage in mind, time still matters. I love her and she loves me, we’re perfect for each other and getting married would be really amazing. I don’t oppose it, it’s just that… I’m not ready yet.

I have been telling her subtly about it by mentioning “I need to save up more before that could happen” and “in the future, when we can afford to have that kind of wedding, we will have it.” I’m not financially ready yet and we’re in a long distance relationship right now and visiting her even takes time because I need to budget things properly.

We’ve only met twice in the span of 11 months, but it was fine since each visit, I’d stay with her for a full month. The 2 visit is more than enough than having 100 date with the same person before thinking of marriage, it was enough to know her sincerity and where this relationship would lead. But what do I do? I don’t want to hurt her by telling her that I’m not ready yet, I don’t want her to shy away or feel bad about making me feel pressured.

I need advice! How can I make her understand that I want to marry her but just not yet without making her feel bad or disappointed? HELP!!!