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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012

    Marriage 11 years- separated

    Good afternoon guys! I just would like to share my exp. so far. My wife left me for some guy. I was with her for 11 years and she has been having a relationship behind my back. She would lie about it. How this happened was I asked for a open marriage and she was hurt but I want different women sexually cause my attraction to her died when she stopped taking care of herself. Her and I were great friends and I loved her very much.
    The point I am trying to make is I should have ended it before. She didn't give me the basic essentials to work with nor did we compliment each other at the end of the relationship. I grew spiritually and she never wanted to. Our sex life sucked and our living life was below the normal level of acceptable for me.
    I stayed bc I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted to love her but also have other chicks so we had a open marriage.she told me she didn't want ANOTHER guy and she would not be with anyone. she just lied.
    So, I have been a vip member for about 6 months and they have helped me see the truth. I can't say its not tough and painful but I feel there is a higher purpose here and if i embrace the pain and heart break from the 11 deal I have a huge chance to grow as a man and find a woman that I want.
    Sorry if this a book but I am trying to just get it out of me so I can get on with my life and let her go. I have been nothing but nice to her cause i don't dig the angry shit towards women. So as of a week ago we are over. If anyone has had this wxp. please share. I am open to whatever you guys say..
    Jamie told me:
    1. She owes me nothing/ I don't owe her a thing either.
    2. I can't be her friend till I move on. I need to heal.

    my question is what is there to do for myself that will help me? I have a great career and life. I just have the absence of her which in the long run is best. She was turning into her mom and that was not my thing. I just want to learn from this and feel better.
    Just looking for solutions.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Living by the "no one owes you anything nor do you owe anyone anything is a great philosophy to live by" because it will allow you to truly love others

    this will allow you to do things simply because you want to, not because you want them to owe you something

    giving without expecting anything back is a great spirtual practice

    likewise, you do not owe anyone anything

    the irony is if you do things for others because you feel you owe them there are some potential long term penalties such as feeling resentment, if you do things while feeling resentment that will not work out long term

    better to do something because you truly want to, with no strings attached

    and everyone has the right to live the life they dream for themselves.....

    but you have the right to choose who you want to be with because they enhance your life, not because you owe them

    Director of Operations / Coach
    “Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”
    ― Bruce Lee
    “As one advances, one does not accumulate but eliminate. The height of cultivation is really nothing special. It is merely simplicity; the ability to express the utmost with the minimum. The more complicated and restricted the method, the less opportunity for expression of one’s original sense of freedom. Though they play an important role in the early stage, the techniques should not be too mechanical, complex, or restrictive. It we cling blindly to them, we shall eventually become bound by their limitations.” - also....Mr. Bruce Lee

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    This is such a great follow up post. I have been getting out there. Talking to others and datingZ I had a few dates last week. What a blast. Im honored that I was able to share some time with my ex but now we both are starting new journeys . I really love my life and this divorce has opened my eyes to possibilities that I never saw. I am extremely excited for the future. I am making huge growth. It seems the deeper the pain the deeper the growth. Life is good and we get the life we want if we make a decision to own our lives and not be victims of a situation.

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