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  1. #1

    Same sticking points

    Hey guys.

    So I am not 'new' here but new to this layout of the site , it's been a while.

    I am back because I have not reached the levels I wanted to.

    Started in the game when I was just 15 years old. Massively obese virgin...about 3 friends , I'd fluked a gf at 13 but that was only experience. Typical afc loser kid.

    Lost a shed load of weight , gained confidence through game . By 17 I was in shape , very cocky very arrogant . Like many newbies I'd taken the wrong reading of the game but it still helped a bit . Ended up getting into a relationship at 18 , she helped calm the arrogance down a bit . Didn't last though .

    My game got to a stage where I was relying mostly off night club pulls , not so much game more booze filled nights. Fun but emotionally unfilling 😅As well as a few hot female friends I did nothing more than k close despite my best efforts .

    Time rolled on however (I'm now 24l) and I got fed up of clubs and fed up of the single life . Ended up on Tinder where I have found my relationship just fade out after about 2 months. Girls get attached very quick , I follow suit , it's all great . Like I connect with them great... then it changes and they grow colder and colder and it ends . Same pattern, none of these girls hate me or anything, no arguments or classic relationship ending stuff, they just 'fizzle out '. Feeling it happen right now actually. Any ideas what could be causing this pattern ? It must be something I'm doing...or maybe not doing because I'm the common theme !

    Last edited by jazzy_ways2; 04-17-2017 at 11:17 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    401
    lol, dude you you just stoke my exact pattern lol. The same thing happens to me a lot. I Like that pattern sometimes because I don't want anything serious right now, just to have fun. What causes this pattern, in my opinion, is a lack of tension and no consistency. Look throughout all of your interactions and see if one or both of those elements are present.


  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassadon View Post
    lol, dude you you just stoke my exact pattern lol. The same thing happens to me a lot. I Like that pattern sometimes because I don't want anything serious right now, just to have fun. What causes this pattern, in my opinion, is a lack of tension and no consistency. Look throughout all of your interactions and see if one or both of those elements are present.
    Hey man

    Glad to know its not just me in this pattern! Lack of tension is something I can definitely see - when I relax and start to settle in old , for lack of a better word AFC behaviours creep in. Could you explain a bit more about the consistency though- consistency in what sense?


  4. #4
    And as predicted the patterns repeated itself! This girl had gone fb official, booked a holiday so quick, Id obviously started off off well.

    Now Again after roughly 2 months now , all over. I cant help but wonder if I get too clingy after intimacy? Or if I just suck in the sack- I have never had consistent sex its being mostly one or two offs so ive never built up lots of practice? Any material that covers this?


    How do I build up the tension at that point in the relationship? I notice Im telling them the same stories over and over without remembering ive told them it...its like im following "scripted routines" like traditional pua but they are my own stories from my life and I'm not even noticing I'm doing it.

    I'm rambling because Im at a bit of a loss as to how to change this! Part of me thinks is it a self fulfilling phrophecy?

    Last edited by jazzy_ways2; 04-30-2017 at 07:09 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    401
    umm not that I know of. Also, if you're only hitting one or 2 times and then the interaction goes cold it sounds like you're not establishing enough comfort an you're getting buyers remorse.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    39
    This two month thing is a pretty typical pattern. Depending on the lifestyle you are trying to live, it's ideal because you do not get tied down in one relationship. On the opposite end, it could get "emotionally unfulfilling."

    A couple things to keep in mind:
    1. A relationship is alive and you have to nurture it or it dies. To add to that, you need to be moving it forward or it gets stale.

    2. She is typically looking for a relationship of some sort. This does not mean it has to be a committed relationship, but she wants to feel like you are there and she can trust you. That takes development and calibration on how much you can give without coming off "needy."

    3. What you are looking for is the emotional connection as well to make you feel fulfilled. The funny part is that's what she's looking for. Therefore, by you not knowing how to properly express it; it makes you feel unfulfilled and she can sense the disconnect.

    Some tips:
    1. If you already hooked up with her, you already won. Now you can focus on what you want to do with the relationship and it gives you a chance to experiment because you have nothing to lose and possibility of having an amazing connection. Remember, she it human and not just a set. If you approach it this way, you can let yourself be more emotionally open.

    2. Just because you are dating this girl, you like each other, and things are going smooth. It does not mean you have to be in a monogamous relationship. Making her your your GF is only possible path to move a relationship forward. Honesty with yourself and her on what your intentions are is important here. Willingness to walk away comes into play too.

    3. If the only way she will keep seeing you is to be exclusive and you want to keep going out and meeting women, it could make things worse because now it becomes work hiding the other girls and you are not being congruent with yourself by doing something you didn't want. Being honest about what you want and being afraid to lose the girl is key here.

    Next steps, I'd recommend jumping on a call where we can really address everything live and clarify anything you might still need.

    -Jason VA

    "The Self is never a finished product."

    Let's schedule a Call Now

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