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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011

    A step backwards

    February 8th

    Well my last night out didn't go so well. Found myself overwhelmed by the loud music and crowd. Unlike my last night out, I was unable to conquer my approach anxiety. I wandered the bars feeling so shy, though I did manage to say hello to a few girls.The approach anxiety just possessed me. I don't know why I let it take such control of me that night. All I can do now is hope I feel braver my next time out.

    MAN! This is the shortest FR I have ever written!

  2. #2

    A step backwards

    Hope is good, but there's no point in hoping unless you're working towards the changes you wanna achieve.

    Remember exactly how you felt that night. Alone, afraid, weak.

    How did it make you feel? Like a scared kid, lost in the jungle, at night, in the rain?

    Except you're no kid.
    You're a lion. A huge, powerful lion.

    The jungle is your home. The night enhances your senses. The rain muffles your steps.
    You're a predator. And you're hungry.

    THEY are the lost kids, and THEY should've known better.
    They can't see you coming, and even if they could there's no point in running: you're much faster.

    Next time before you go out, I want you to read that out loud.

    When you're in the nightclub, I want you to go to the center of the dancefloor, and close your eyes.

    Feel the music beating in your chest, hear the giggling around you, feel their bodies touching your body.
    And then imagine you're in the jungle. Smile to yourself, as you realize they're trapped here with you.

    Now smell the scent of your prey...

    Open your eyes, and look around slowly.
    With that evil grim in your face, find the one that attracts you the most.
    The one that appeals to your instincts.

    Once you set your gaze upon her, there's absolutely no way out. She's yours.

    - Tchau!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011

    A step backwards

    Wow, thanks man! Though your choice of words make me sound like some kind of sleazy rapist...also lions live in the savannah not the jungle. I get what your saying though, LOL!

  4. #4

    A step backwards

    Guess I should watch more National Geographic and less VH1.

    But choose your own words, and create this scenario in your mind. It will help you a lot.
    First Inner game, then outer game.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    A step backwards

    To me man it sounds like you're putting too much weight on your approaches. You see the set as having value to you that you want. Instead you need to think about the value you bring to the set. I went out with a buddy last night who kept refusing to approach. I'll admit I punched him. Then I said the following. How could he be so selfish? Standing there, knowing how uncomfortable it feels, and by not approaching, he's making that poor set over there feel the same way!!! I'm also going to guess that you're picking your target in advance of opening the set. How do you know though? Have you qualified her? Or are you only interested in her looks? Is she worthy of you? Or is she just some vacuous bimbo with nothing of interest to talk about? Remember. You're opening a set, not to meet that one girl... But rather to expand your social circle. If the men and women in that set become your friends then they can introduce you to others. You can work the room with them. They can be a set for you to return to later if you get blown out of another set. From a slightly different angle... If you needed the bathroom and had never been in that venue before, would you hesitate to ask for directions?

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