View Full Version : Congruence. You need it in your game.

Mike Hawke
10-14-2008, 01:51 PM
I have seen discussion for the last year or so about "use these openers/don't use those" "this type of game doesn't work anymore" "structured vs natural game"
As valid as these discussions are to the person posting, they are pointless to readers who are not in the same stage of game as him.

The reason for this is congruence.

The person posting is congruent with the reality of "this does/doesn't work" but the reader isn't in most cases.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Congruence is the state achieved by coming together, the state of agreement.
The Latin congruere means to come together, agree. As an abstract term, congruence means similarity between objects. Congruence, as opposed to equivalence or approximation, is a relation which implies a kind of equivalence, though not complete equivalence.

* In psychology and NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), congruence could be defined as rapport within oneself, or internal and external consistency, perceived by others as sincerity or certainty.
* An alternative definition of congruence in the work of Virginia Satir, one of the sources of NLP, is the balance between self, other and context.
* In cladistics, congruence is a test of homology, or shared, derived character states, in which the distributions of supposed homologies among taxa are compared for consistency.
* horizontal and vertical congruence, two related principles of grouping
* In geometry, triangles and other figures are congruent if they are isometric roughly, if they are of the same size and shape. See Congruence (geometry).
* In mathematics and especially in abstract algebra as well as modular arithmetic, a congruence relation or simply congruence is an equivalence relation that is compatible with some algebraic operation(s).

openers, gambits, routines, all of this stuff lives or dies from congruence. As Tyler Durden says "the self shows through".

What this means to me is, when you do a canned opener like the jealous girlfriend, you must be congruent. you must own it.
Think of a friend who this could have happened to. Tie this routine to him in your head. When you are saying "I have this friend", think of him, picture his face.
You must really believe that this happened to him to the best of your ablility.

If you do this. If you make the canned opener or routine part of your reality you will become congruent with it and it will shine through your delivery.

Congruence is the state achieved by coming together, the state of agreement.

Congruence is one of the most important parts of your game, its one of the underlying principals that must be understood and sought after in every part of what you do.

You watch the new pickup artist season and you will see Mystery using some of his canned material. It shines through as true because its congruent for him.

For those beginning to those who have it all figured out, being congruent with what you say is one of the best things you can do to further you success in the game.

L.A. Tripp
10-14-2008, 08:07 PM
Congruence is indeed a vital aspect, and an area that we all need to grow in.

That's why the methods and gambits and routines are training wheels to start with, to use while you work on your inner game, which is where your true game is.