View Full Version : The Value of Commitment

Ice 9
08-29-2008, 05:56 AM
I originally wrote the following for another thread that got moved to the Fight Club. However, I believe that the part of the thread about commitment is valuable without being inflammatory. At azazels_wolf's urging, I am therefore reposting what I wrote about it in the hope that we'll have a quality thread that stays positive. Others also wrote some quality material about commitment and discipline, and I encourage you to repost that here also in a way that won't get the thread put into the Fight Club. And, of course, anyone else who has something to contribute to the topic, please go for it. Thanks. I've also revised what I wrote to expand on my ideas.

Imagine you apply for the shittiest job out there -- let's say a part time job at a fast food joint. They schedule you for 25 hours your first week. Now what will happen if you don't bother to show up for your shifts or if you only show up when you feel like it?

There's no doubt about it: You will fail at even the worst and most undesirable job if you lack sufficient commitment to it. Now apply that principle to any self help program, whether it be a workout program, learning a new language, or PUA. If you don't give it at least as much commitment as you would to any job, you're not going to get the results you wanted.

So how do you get the discipline you need? You commit to concrete goals each week and hold yourself accountable to them. When I was in college, I wrote a contract for myself at the beginning of each semester in which I pledged my commitment to all my courses. And I signed my name at the bottom of it. Then every day I wrote the words, "I commit myself" in my planner and initialed it. The result? After four years I graduated with a 3.57 GPA (out of a possible 4.0) at a very hard college. Some semesters I got a 4.0.

What helps me is to ask myself, "If this were a job, how well would I be doing?" If the answer is that I'd be fired, I know my commitment level isn't high enough. And I don't want a commitment level that's only high enough to retain a fast food job. I want one that would be high enough to prosper at a high-end job.

There's good news for KJs. That news is that a KJ can change immediately. A KJ already has a bunch of knowledge on the subject. Add commitment to a KJ and you have someone who's going to immediately start growing and getting results. Think about it.

So write down monthly and weekly goals. Write underneath them, "I commit myself" and sign your name. Remind yourself how committed you would have to be to hold a clunky fast food job and ask yourself if your goals don't deserve at least as much commitment. Write down exactly how much commitment it will take to reach your goals. And sign your name. I mean it. Do it.

There's a magic that happens when you make a habit of keeping your word. Your word becomes law. When you promise to do something, it becomes a given that you're going to follow through and do it. You become powerful. "My word is law" has become my mantra whenever I start to feel weak and like following through is too much of a hassle. When I recite that sentence, I tap into my power and it builds the confidence and courage I need to follow through. It's not uncommon for me to be exercising, huffing and puffing, "My word is law." You don't have to use the same mantra that I do. If you have something that has meaning to you, that makes you feel the value of commitment, recite it to motivate yourself to follow through.

I'm also interested in what others have done to keep their commitments solid.

08-29-2008, 10:06 AM
I'm re reading the game at the moment and when neil struass was first asked to be mysterys wingman he put in 18 hours a day learning technique and material and then he was going out with ross Jefferies and chronies 4 times a week.

I don't have 18 hours a day just to learn how to pick up women. I have a really busy life as it is. But I think that shows the level of commitment Strauss was at and why he got so good at this.

08-30-2008, 05:03 AM
This is indeed a much better way to start a thread...and I would definitely like to see the other quality material on this topic reposted here in a positive frame as well. :)

One certainly doesn't have to spend 18 hours a day learning techniques and routines, etc....but an important part of being a Venusian Artist is becoming the best man you can be....the most HIGH VALUE person you can be. Committing yourself to improving every aspect of yourself and your life will not only make you inherently more attractive and high value, but will bring you much more joy and pleasure, which you can then share with anyone you find worthy.

So we should spend time everyday not only honing our social intelligence and techniques, but also improving ourselves, our personalities, our thoughts and attitudes, and ultimately everything we do and everything we have around us. We reap the myriad rewards of that, and everyone around us will benefit from it as well.

09-03-2008, 12:11 AM
Moved to Best Of :)

Bad Apple
10-29-2008, 11:06 PM
This is the most important thing for me and anyone else starting out in the game I think. Its taken me a while since I discovered the game to really start committing to it and trying to achieve the results I want, and I'm still in need of a lot of advice and progress myself. However two things come to mind when thinking about jumping the first hurdle of progress.

The first would be that each stage of the game needs to be worked on piece by piece in ascending order (A1 through to S3). The best metaphor I can think for this is that of weight-lifting. If you try lifting the heaviest weight at the start of your training regime then you are bound to fail and will probably give up for a while. But if you start off with easier weights then you can gradually build up to bigger goals and not crumple down in a heap of self-loathing. On that note...

The second thing that motivates me in particular is the memory of every time you have sat there staring into space with all these AFC thoughts running amok in your brain. 'When am I gonna get a girlfriend?', 'why do my friends have success with women and I don't?' 'its not fair that I'm not getting laid!'
This is a position that I never wish to return to, that state of pure frustration, self-loathing and pointless inactivity. I'm sure that most people on here reading this have been in that position at one point, and yeah, it sucks. Whats more, like Mystery says in the MM handbook if one aspect of your life is failing, then its gonna drag the others down with it; I can certainly vouch for that.
So next time you're having doubts about taking the necessary action to push your game further to achieve what you want, think about that time/month where you stayed in, bashed one out every hour or two, watched repeats of southpark round and round, and ate a shitload of bacon-flavoured crisps and chocolate bars followed by sitting there farting until you think you've followed one through. This for me is hell, and the pinnacle of douchebaggery, and I never wanna go back to that point.
So some might describe this as motivation through fear, and yes there is an element of that in there, but its a good means to an end, especially if you are just starting out. It seems like you are only ever moving forwards or backwards too. If you aren't moving forwards to being a PUA you are rolling backwards into douchedom.

However this is a very broad topic and I am still keen to learn as much as possible about it, if anyone can criticize the above then please go ahead as I am no expert on this. Different things work for different people and I'd like to hear other people's insights on this too.

01-05-2009, 04:00 AM
the best feeling is watching and being grateful for every little change that is occuring.

I mean a year ago at this time, I was miserable, trying to stay positive but not being so good to myself internally.

Now, with all this fun, it just seems like its so much more easier to be committed.

I am gonna try something new from now on where I reward myself after I reach a goal.