View Full Version : URGENT: crushing 2nd thoughts?

05-27-2008, 02:58 AM
Long (back)story -short...
I have this "friend" we have known eachother for going on 3 years now... we use to have an intimate relationship, she was more than a simple "fuck budy" but we were never commited to eachother... she dropps off on some of life's bullshit, goes through a real shitty few months and durring this time I was living in another state, so our relationship went into long distance mode... to which it still is today. We went through a lot of AFC "back and forth" *a major fukup on my part" cuz she ended up geting herself hoked up with a "boyfriend" but now they are split up (as she put it.. On a break)
...she and I have always been close friends, im one of only 2 true friends she has now...

My point/question:

Im to go see her on this upcoming wednesday... im gonna make a trip over to her place cuz ill be in town helpin out family anyway. We agreed to this about a week ago... set a time and all that. Now, I get a text from her today that says;
"C1live1.... im gonna have to rethink wed... im not saying its off...but I may have to think of something else. You can't come in the house tho, im sorry."

She and I have been intimate as I said... we had a MAJOR rough patch for like 4 months, about 1&1/2 of those months I simply stopped talking to her. But now we are back to being "buddies" she has said to me she still has feelings for me, so im thinking this txt from her is a trust issue. Not of my trust, but that she don't trust herself to not do anything sexual with me if it went down like that... fact is, I KNOW she "cares for me" and she wants to see me cuz a week before I stopped talking to her I had an opp to go see her (while she and her bf then were together) and she denied me seeing her. It was mentioned this time and w/o hesitation she said she'd see me and that she was stupid to not see me last time... ill be honest here guys, this chic was my 1itis for a while... but I got over it, but she is a great friend to me... and I do still have curiosities about where I can take "us"

Any help on her text to me would be appreciated... I have till tonight till I need to answer or she'll prolly start reeeally 2nd guessing my visit. So if nothing by tonight im gonna rely on my own skillset to handle this ;o)

05-27-2008, 04:41 AM
Yeah, either she's nervous about what might happen if she lets you into her house....or she's got someone else at her house and she doesn't want you to be seen. But that doesn't mean she won't eventually let you come home with her again...

For the purpose of not projecting neediness, don't make a big deal out of it. You could even tease her for presuming that you WANTED to come into the house so soon. Then try suggesting something fun you two could do together while out... something that doesn't place too many demands on her. Once you've spent some time together, things may change.

05-27-2008, 08:16 AM
Great advice, however... as I said was gonna happe; she ent me a new txt sayin she doesn't think wednesday is gonna happen, she says she wants to, but she asked her "boyfriend" whom she's "on a break" from atm not to hang out with any of his ex's... and she st8 up said to me she can't see me out of respect for him, cuz of what she said about him not hangin out with any of his ex's. Ill be honest, im pissed about this cuz this guys a dumbass anyway, and im posative he'll be, if he's not already hangin out with an ex... but this is all stipulation and besides the point. Im kind of dozzed off on nyquil at the moment and I sent her a reply that was tho, not "needy" still too much... that reply aside tho, any ideas on her new spew?

I guess ill just have to cancel the whole thing off and leave it at that if nothing else. Its not worth getting all worked up over in the end-


So, after a few txt msg back and forth this morning I simply said its canceled, I will not be seeing her. She gave me the spew about not wanting to make her "bf" insecure, and she's gotta study for school, which was all fine and dandy to me. She said she does wanna see me, but fuck that shit, cuz she put a restriction on it and basicaly just killed it for me, if im gonna do this, it won't be on her terms.... 1itis or not, mamma didn't raise no bitch, she coulda had a girl for that ;)

There are honestly no hard feelings I have an uber busy day ahead of me so by the end of it all ill of forgotten about all this, but by her "...alright ...bye" responce to me, I can tell she's not so happy... ohwell, maybe next time shell reconsider flaking on me.